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| Good evening. This is the Friday night news. Today, Dr. von Stroheim, with the help of the Hormel Meat company struck again. | |
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| He sent back in time 1000 tins of Spam to the 19th century cave in which the ill-fated Donner Party was about to seek shelter for the winter. | |
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| Good evening. This is the Saturday night news. Today, without any explanation, Dr. Erich von Stroheim destroyed his time machine. | |
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