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| Suicide. Witnesses saw her leap off the bridge into the river at 6:03 PM. No doubt about it. | |
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| But why? She had everything going for her. Rhode Island state track champion, and voted best looking woman on campus. | |
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| Captain, this may explain it: "I'm sick and tired of Led Zeppelin. If I hear that whiny voice of Robert Plant once more, I swear I'll end it all." | |
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| Hmmmm... we may have a breakthrough. I'll pay a visit to the radio station and check their playlist. | |
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| ... Let me see. Oh yes, here it is. At 6PM, we played Led Zeppelin IV all the way through. | |
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| That confirms it! The quick Brown fox jumped over the L.Z. "Black Dog." | |
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