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| Honey, I've got a surprise for you. Turn on Channel 9. | |
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| Good evening, and welcome to the Kato Kaelin Variety Hour. Tonight, Fabio does A Flock of Seagulls, Paris Hilton reads Chaucer, ... | |
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| Danny Bonaduce sobers up, Smarty Jones dances the waltz, and we'll have the nonstop laughs of Dan Wallace. | |
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