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| Mr. Chekov, ever since you've come onboard, I've been getting complaints from the crew. Uhura says you tried to tell her the good news about Jesus Christ. | |
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| Scotty says he caught you putting holy watter into the warp drive. Sulu says you dumped all of his Romulan ale down the toilet. | |
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| And Bones tells me you were saying that I ought to be flogged for fathering a child out of wedlock, and "that harlot" Carol Macus should be stoned to death. For god's sake, what's gotten into you? | |
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| Oh, it was truly horrible, Keptin. They put preachers in our ears! | |
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