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| Hello, 911! I just stepped into the kitchen for a moment, and when I came back, my baby was gone. SOMEBODY STOLE MY CHILD! | |
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| Relax, ma'am. We have an excellent recovery rate. We'll have a forensics engineer over shortly to collect samples, and your child will be tracked down in no time. | |
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| We know exactly which stripper abducted your child. See how the DNA sample taken from the playpen matches exactly the residue on "A comic for Ethiopians"? | |
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| MANDINGO STOLE MY BABY?!?! | |
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