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| Celebrity Suicide Pun Hot Line, what is your emergency? | |
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| It's the actress, Ms. Tomlin. She overdosed on tranquilizers. I fear she's now Lily of the Valium! | |
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| Celebrity Suicide Pun Hot Line, what is your emergency? | |
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| King Arthur just blew his brains out using an ancient Roman gun that fired 2.54 mm bullets. Ballistics confirm he used an X Caliber. | |
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| Celebrity Suicide Pun Hot Line, what is your emergency? | |
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| The great mathematician Pythagoras is dead! He jumped off a chair after putting his head through a hypote noose. | |
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