If World Affairs Were Handled Like Professional Sports

Author: kaufman

Date: March 4, 2016

by kaufman
3-04-16
We begin tonight's news with the story of a blockbuster trade between the United States and the United Arab Emirates.
The US will be receiving the city of Dubai in exchange for Philadelphia and a river to be named later.
A spokesman says the US is excited to get this phenom city. Meanwhile, the Emirates say that they will rename Philadelphia to Abu Santaclaus.