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| Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! I'm happy to be announcing the reelection of the president. | |
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| Now some of you may be wondering what I'm doing at a garden shop in the dingiest part of town, next to an adult book store and a crematorium. | |
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| Well, shit, if you know me, the first part ought to be obvious, and as for the second, think of it as a reminder that Donald Trump urned your votes! | |
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