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| I saw a commercial, I think for a hospital, that said the two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. | |
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| A sweet message in theory, but one that gives me the willies. I'm getting on in years and I still haven't figured out my purpose in life. | |
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| What if that day has passed me by and I missed it, and for the past 25 or 50 years, I've just been futzing around instead of doing whatever I should be doing? | |
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| Or what if I'm so insignificant, the Great Dispatcher in the Sky just forgot about me, or maybe never bothered to give me any purpose? | |
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| But what really scares me shitless is that my special day has yet to come, and when it finally does, I'll wake up and hear a big booming voice tell me ... | |
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| IT'S BECAUSE ABORTIONS WEREN'T THAT COMMON IN 1960, YOU DOPE! | |
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