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| I don't understand. If you hate everything so much, why are you helping me save the world? | |
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| I want this film to do better than that cunt Potter's. So I figured I'd hijack it. I kidnapped that beardy twat Gandalf and took his place. | |
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| You mean you're not Gandalf? | |
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| Hell no. Gandalf was supposed to take you up some boring fucking mountain. I figured this film'd be better if I took you to titty bars and blew shit up. | |
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| But the fate of Middle Earth is at stake! | |
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| Listen, shortarse, I'm getting sick of your fucking moaning? You'd rather save the world than see tits? Are you some kind of fucking homo faggot boy? | |
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