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| Hey! What do you like best, doughnuts or muffins? | |
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| That's a tough choice! I love both doughnuts and muffins! | |
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| What if I were to tell you that you could have both at once? That's right, I'm talking about duffins! They're a doughnut in the shape of a muffin! Or a muffin made out of doughnut! | |
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| FUCK YEAH! Why should I have to choose between doughnuts and muffins? This is the 21st century, what are we, savages? | |
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| "...the latest in a series of attacks at bakers all around the country. The man launched into a frenzy when asked to choose between two types of cake." | |
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| Did we learn nothing from the great Cronut war of 2013? | |
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