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| Welcome to the 14th Annual Military Awards. With me is the winner of our Friendly Fire Incident of the Year Award, Private Jones. | |
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| Private Jones, you hold the record for the most weddings bombed in a month with twenty seven. Just what is it you have against weddings? | |
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| Well sir, I had good intelligence that there was evildoers hiding at them there weddings. | |
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| The weddings were all within a five mile radius of your house in Milwaukee. | |
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| By "evildoers" I mean "cheesy 70s cover bands" | |
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