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| You're my son and I love you, but I just can't possibly respect you. I'm sorry. | |
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| I'm sorry I was born with an embarassing birth defect. I know it's made your life as a travelling salesman hard. | |
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| Your damn right it's made my job hard. You know how hard it is to sell bronzer when you can't even share photos of your child? | |
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| Just show them photos of my face and don't show them my hideous fish hand. | |
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