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| Our barbershop has the latest in cutting edge cutting-edge technology. For a mere ten shillings we offer the all new ShaveMatic experience | |
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| We feed your Facial Contour Index into the ShaveMatic using the Visage-Visor 3000 | |
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| Then, all you need to do is lie back in the Ergotronic Comf-o-Chair, while not one, not three, not five, but seventeen Mach 3 razors swing from the sky | |
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| They travel a mere thirteen yoctomillimeters from your face, giving you a shave closer than even any picophysicist could feasibly imagine. | |
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