All comics by madduck

 

by madduck
3-22-19
just flew in from heaven and boy are my arms tired
what a crybaby bitch
his arms are tired, what about my feet?
or my balls?!
or my grit?
or my fucking balls?!!

 

by madduck
3-22-19
hey, how's it hanging?
lol!
what a douche

 

by madduck
3-22-19
if i could be trapped on a desert island with anyone, it would be with you!
...
what about you?
...
hail the dark lord!
that's better

 

by madduck
3-22-19
i could do that if i didn't have holes in my feet
i could do that if i wasn't stuck here
i can't because i never existed
yes you did

 

by madduck
3-22-19
i like you, you're into anal
you know it
what do you want?
i'm into anal too
then go fuck yourself
i think i will

 

by madduck
3-30-19
another beautiful god given day isn't it?
the sun is my enemy
hmm, i'm the son of god...i can perform miracles
hhhgggiii
how'd he do that? i need some better miracles
so stupid

 

by madduck
3-30-19
blessed be
not really
why not my child?
i just feel sick of everything, utterly drained of my will to exist
have you tried amphetamines and opiates?
better already!

 

by madduck
3-30-19
so a priest, a rabbi and an athiest walk into a church...
...no wait it was a bar...hmm
you suck!!!!!!! boo!!!!!!!
getting out of this comedy hole will be a fucking miracle
get off the stage!!!

 

by madduck
3-30-19
wish i had a friend to get me down or at least hang out with
dont worry, i got you jesus!...just kidding!! HAHA!!
fuck... i could've used that axe
don't worry! i got you jesus!... psych!! HAHA!!
jesus fucking christ i could've used that high five
chump!

 

by madduck
4-11-19
we, need to talk. i like fucking you but i can't stand you
maybe i could change for him
we should probably see other people
oh the rejection, maybe i can talk him out of it
ha! i guess we don't technically need to talk
oooh

 

by madduck
4-12-19
murder is a sin
don't preach to me you dyslexic prick just redruming some fuckface fucks
could be any gun toting kangaroo
they do all look alike

 

by madduck
4-12-19
this haunted house is pretty scary huh jesus
not as scary as the eternal damnation of hell
but there's death metal and ho's
you're a cow with no soul, what the fuck do you know
...i know what i like and what gets my dick hard. so i got that going for me
i haven't had an erection in 2000 years ;-(

 

by madduck
4-20-19
it's that time of year again!
what time of year?
easter, when i rose from the dead. you know, my greatest miracle?
sounds more like a zombie than a saviour
oh yeah, it does kind of, huh?
yeah

 

by madduck
4-20-19
hello my son, how is your day, this fine easter?
kinda whatever
aren't you feeling blessed now that i, jesus, died for your sins and am resurrected?
i don't believe in jesus. i'm a pyromaniac, atheistic satanist with nihlistic tendencies
you're not an angel?
fuck no, these wings are a birth defect, i like togas and i just wondered in here to see if i could torch the place... what's easter? some bullshit?

 

by madduck
4-21-19
freeze, put your hands up! what are you doing on this side of town? drugs? hookers? drugging hookers?
i'm just hanging out
are you trying to be funny?
no, i'm trying to be jesus
jesus was black, if you were jesus i would have shot you already. what's in your hand?
just some nails

 

by madduck
4-27-19
ugh, these fucking holes in my feet. i used to be able to walk on water you know
anyone can if it's frozen
but i could change water to wine too
well that's what winemakers do too
everyone believed in me, i have followers
sounds like we're both sharks in the sea of sucker fish

 

by madduck
3-06-21
What's up fuckface? Whatcha doin'?
Hey fucktard, just burning my ass off in hell...
...and buttfucking!
Hey fellas, I like buttfucking too!
Jesus fucking christ that guys annoying.
No shit, fuck that guy.

 

by madduck
3-06-21
Hey Dad, whats the meaning of life? Everyone keeps asking and I can't figure it out.
Ask your Mom kid, Dads got day drinking to do...Lil shit critter.
I should give this brat a 135th trimester abortion.

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