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| hey, Joe, how's it going? | |
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| not good. my appliances keep evolving sentience. some of them "wake up" pretty pissed too. the toaster stuck my dick in the outlet then jammed a loaf of rye up my ass | |
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| the blender stabbed the dog. the food processor set fire to my den. and the coffee pot is running a meth lab. i was actually relieved when all the microwave did was steal some money from me | |
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| but then he used it to buy the toaster more rye | |
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