All comics by markbaland

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by markbaland
5-15-04
oh no, not him again!
yeah, it's me again!
what's he gonna blather on about this time?
i really got nothing new to say anyway, so bye...
thank god that's over!
my words get lost like children in the circus, and drift away like balloons that noone will miss...

 

by markbaland
5-16-04
i get software ready for the big Y2K conversion; i add 2 digits to all the dates so... NEVERMIND!
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fuckin' khakis.
i have people skills, DAMNIT!
You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
DOH! i forgot to put the cover sheet on my TPS report!
Congratulations. You're one step closer to hitting bottom.

 

by markbaland
6-15-04
zeeb pleeds with neex...
no, zeeb, don't do it...you have so much to live for!
neex, you can't understand. you're more popular than E.T, but i've never fit in on our planet, and the earthlings won't hang out with me unless i abduct them.
zeeb reasons with neex...
we shall build you a partner, to keep you company!
you've got a solution for everything, don't you? you think a robot will make me happy... you think that someone could only like me if they were programmed to?
neex destroys zeeb!
no, i'm just trying to help. i thought that maybe AAAHHH! - - -
now i'm happy

 

by markbaland
7-29-04
the past gives the future a present
i asked you here to marry me, my love...
dude, i told you, I AM NOT GAY!
the past tells the present it's future
one day we will all be judged, my son...
jesus fuckin' christ!
the future tells the present it's the past
you humans are a virus, and we are the cure...
dude, i saw 2001, Blade Runner, Terminator, The Matrix, AI, and I, Robot, so i get it, OK?

 

by markbaland
2-16-06
John tells Mark he needs some sleep..
Dude, you need some sleep!
Yeah, but the Internet needs me...
PC tells Mark he needs some sleep...
DUDE://YOU.NEED.SLEEP/ NOW.HTML
hmm...maybe you're right...
Jorg asks Mark why he's late to work...
Mark, why can't you get here on time?
man, i should have gone to bed earlier!

 

by markbaland
7-08-07
Lesly doesn't want to log on.
you've got mail.
i don't want male.
Lesly just wants to get off.
you've got mail whether you want it or not...
i really don't want male...
Lesly is S.O.L.
YOU'VE GOT MAIL!
why can't we have efemail?

 

by markbaland
7-08-07
Man VS Woman
would you like to interface ?
my "PeeCee's" been lonely & i've been low on RAM !
Hardware VS Software
why don't you oil my mantenna 'til i bust a nut, and then ride my joystick until my latest firmware release is ready...
maybe he will double c-lick my mouse for awhile, and then open my box when my so
Logic VS Emotion
sorry to run a full system scan without doing some diagnostics first, but i wanted to interface before my hard drive became floppy...
...and he just ASSumed that his driver package would be compatible with all of my input/output ports...

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
the corporation vs markbaland
um, yeah, we're gonna have to let you go, ok?
i should have seen this coming...
the government vs markbaland
um, yeah, i'm gonna have to ask you to move along now, ok?
i should have seen this coming...
the people vs markbaland
um, yeah, that's actually my house there, douschbag!
i should have seen this coming...

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
leaving the earth
i don't get it, alan; why did we have to move to space?
because, mark: gas is to expensive on earth!
walking home
then how did we afford the gas to get to space?
i told you, the ship is electric, and the electricity came from our windmills.
looking back
but there isn't wind in space...
it's called a battery... ugh! nevermind: it's a goverment conspiracy, OK?!

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
dude, WTF?
alan, i don't appreciate you equating clown shoes to texas!
but why not; both are big and stinky and jokes that's aren't funny anymore!
yes, but clown shoes play an important role in supporting the clown!
so did texas in the last presidential election!
touche!

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
i, george W bush, sympathize with the common american's plight duing these gas price increases!
i, markbaland, think that's total bullshit! can i borrow your get gas free card, or some of your gas stocks?
it's the american dream to be able to have more than 1 job.
yeah, but not when the 2nd one is just to pay for gas to get to the 1st one...
if congress tries to pass a bill curtailing price-gouging by OPEC, i will veto it...
thanks, dubya!

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
dude, i'm so stoked about our new electric car!
yeah, but it sucks we ran out of extension cord back there. do you think we'll die out here?
well, it does get hot here in death valley, but we have enough battery power to keep the a/c going for another 30 minutes...
is that with, or without the radio on?
man, i hadn't thought about that. ...
how long with the radio on?

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
well, osama, i hope you have as much fun and make as much munny as i did!
it's obama, mr dubya, and i'm here to change things, if you can believe that!
so who funded your campaign, voters or corporations? ... you gonna end war, lower taxes, raise wages, save the earth, and give free health care to all?
umm...
looks like the only change here is a change of color, and maybe smartitude...
and that's change we can McBelieve In!

 

by markbaland
6-09-08
top of the mornin' to ya; do you know why i stopped you today?
for having a license plate that says TOOL?
well, no, not exactly...
for driving on the wrong side of the sky?
don't you think you're a wee bit high to be drivin' now?
not as high as the price of petrol, guvna!

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