All comics by martelholmes

 

by martelholmes
4-27-14
Things are looking up for jimmie he got a new JOB
Dad I need a place to hide for lunch.
You smell like pee.
Yeah! i have to wear it for my new job it hides my scent.
Hides it from Who?
THE DOGS!
Martha!!!!

 

by martelholmes
4-27-14
Hey son welcome to the company.
Thank you sir I'm Happy to be a part of the team.
Oh so you're a team player, Mind giving me a hand with a special project
It would be my honor sir!
Now remember son your finger prints are on that Axe and that Asian hooker was never in my trunk
Why am I aroused?

 

by martelholmes
4-28-14
Jimmies trying to get a raise on his second week of work.
Ok jimmie this is your time to shine just go in there and ask the raise.
Whats up j Man
The Names Jimmie Stan and what the fuck do you want.
Just wanted to say good luck on getting that Raise today.
Some where in the world Stan there's a Shallow grave with your name on it.
I should put in a good word for him.

 

by martelholmes
4-28-14
Jimmie has a day off from work to run some errands.
You got the stuff?
Yeah, but why do you need a 55 gallon drum of Lube?
Hey do i ask what do you do with your lube ?
Well you would need a bag of Skittles some rope a clown nose a brick of gouda and a sweating to the oldies cd.
What? I like gouda.

 

by martelholmes
4-28-14
Jimmie meets u with stew after lunch
whats with the bitch Face stew?
some one ate my Gogurt.
Was it Strawberry with a lil sticker that had ''stew's do not eat'' on it next to the milk on the second shelf in the the fridge
Yeah!
Didn't see it.

 

by martelholmes
4-29-14
jimmie opens up to his dad
Dad I'm in love.
You smell like cheap perfume and bad sex.
OK, I was with a girl last night and I think shes a Doctor.
Really !?!?
Yeah she left a number and a note that said I might want to go get a checkup.
Martha!!!!!

 

by martelholmes
4-29-14
JIMMIES VIEWS ON RACISM
WHITE POWER!!!
WHAT THE
COME ON BOTHER SCREAM IT WITH ME WHITE POWER!!!
WHITE HUH??
SO MUCH BLOOD!!!!!
TRY USING BLEACH

 

by martelholmes
5-01-14
Jimmie bonds with the boss after a office meeting
I never noticed how bald the boss was
HAHAHAHA Stew dont worry about the gogurt well get you more.
Sir I would like to put in a formal request to call stew the office bitch.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH jimmie dont worry.
I stick my tip in his gogurt every morning.

 

by martelholmes
5-01-14
while at home jimmies decides to watch the news.
today the mayor will announce his new plan to renovate millennium park .
Didn't we just build that?
the mayor wants to include more steps for tourist to stand on and take pictures
How much is that going to cost us?
Its estimated this will cost tax payers 4.5 million dollars
Its going to be a long day.

 

by martelholmes
7-20-14
jimmie and the boss start off every week with a monday morning meeting.
look out this window jimmie at all the little worker ants.
yeah just one big fucking Infestation.
NOOOO jimmie they are our colony our life blood.
thats deep yo.
yes deep, deep like the hamster inside me right now.
Don't ask just walk away.

 

by martelholmes
6-08-15
God he's so fucking cute!
So what was so important you had me come all the way to the basement for ?
I told stan to meet us down here too and I locked all the exits.
YOU SERIOUS !!!
Dear Dairy i found the man I'm going to marry .
Hunger Game time.

 

by martelholmes
6-12-16
Sir, I'm happy here at squirt tacos. they treat me like family .
Listen Stan we miss you over at the office. I miss you. What if i sweetin the deal.
What are we talking here?
While my back was turned some deranged man came in and murdered the entire staff of squirt tacos
guys Meeting in the break Room I have Great NEws!!!!
Oh look a Dove.

 

by martelholmes
6-12-16
Sir, I'm happy here at squirt tacos. they treat me like family .
Listen Stan we miss you over at the office. I miss you. What if i sweetin the deal.
What are we talking here?
While my back was turned some deranged man came in and murdered the entire staff of squirt tacos
guys Meeting in the break Room I have Great NEws!!!!
Oh look a Dove.

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