All comics by marylinndr

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by marylinndr
2-15-04
Oh my goodness!!!
NOOOO!!
What has this world come to?!
I know.
Twinkies & Coke for breakfast.
Who would have ever thought?

 

by marylinndr
2-15-04
At the coffee shop
My 1st sip of coffee.I wonder how it's gonna be?
Ewww!Distgusting!How do people drink that everyday & say they are addicted to it?
The next morning.
Can I get a large coffee please.

 

by marylinndr
2-15-04
So if there is germs everywhere & soap kills 100% all germs,then soap is like, kinda killin it's self right?
I guess.
Hhmmm...
Excuse me.This is 1-800-SUICIDE right?Yeah i would like to report a suicide that is going on all around the world & won't stop killing itself.
Soap!!!You're CRAZY Mr.!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-15-04
Lookin for somethin to eat.
Hey men i'm hungry!Let's go eat.But I don't wanna go down.
Hey there's a drive through.Go there.
Yeah I'd like 4 large cheese burgers 8 x-tra large fries & 2 large pops.
Hey don't forget the x-tra pickles!
This is a drive IN not a drive THROUGH!!!
Guess hunger makes ya forget how to read.

 

by marylinndr
2-15-04
Can't sleep.
Sleeping pills.Why can't they just read me a story?
Hey.Maybe that old counting sheep trick will work.I'll try it.
God.This is more stressful than relaxing.
Shouldn't he be counting in bed?Weirdo!

 

by marylinndr
2-15-04
ZZZZZZZZZ is not how u spell somebody snoring.There's gotta be a better way.
Hey Mel,do you know how to spell somebody snoring?
Sure.
S-O-M-E-B-O-D-Y- S-N-O-R-I-N-G.

 

by marylinndr
2-15-04
Man!!I totally burnt my toast!This sucks.Now I have nothing else to eat for breakfast.
Wait.I heard somewhere if you scrape off the black stuff,the bread will be okay.
Ooops.I guess I went scrape happy.

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Workin at a post office.
Dude, you just dropped a box that says FRAGILE on it.
Yeah,& it opened.
Well you might as well look at what's inside!
It's,it's...
It's a condom.
Well I guess they do brake pretty easily.

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Given pills to relieve stress.
They gave me pills to take care of my stress?There's gotta be a better way.I'll go to the mall.
At the mall.
Hhmmm...
At the lava lamp store.
Whoa.Those pills must be little shrunken up lava lamps.Cuz this is really workin!
(I'm suppose to be a lava lamp.Just imagine!)

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Checkin out a dollar bill.
Have you ever looked at a dollar bill really closely?There's some scary stuff on there.
Really?Le'me see.
Wow.You're right.That is pretty scary.
See told ya.
George Washington is one ugly man.
Yeah.&,what kind of a person always has white hair?

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
IN HELL!
Oh my goodness,look what you did.This is all your fault.I can't believe you.Why 'd you have to kill me?Couldn't you just leave me alone.Gosh.Now what do I do?
Sorry.
Sorry?Sorry?Man well it's too late for that now isn't it.Sheesh.You kill me & now you say sorry?What kind of a killer are you?Well you know what?Keep sayin you're sorry cuz we're here for all eternity
But?But?...
But?But?What?
But,why are YOU here???

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Sitting in detention & watchin t.v.
Hhmm.
The Super Vacum 5000.The Only Way To Clean!!!
Teacher comes in.
Okay Jimmy I'd like you to clean the white board for me.
K
The vacum!!!
Jimmy!What are you doing?Why don't you just clean it with the eraser?
Because the Super Vacum 5000 is the ONLY way to clean!

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Search for a wallet.
We went around the world to look for your wallet with a million dollars in it,& we still can't find it!
Oh,Oh!It was in my pocket the whole time.
But look at the bright side.
Nnnooooo!!!What bright side?We wasted soo much time!But wait. do you have the million dollars?
No,the bright side was I really didn't have a hole in my pocket.And oh yeah.Here's a dollar off coupon.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Mia runs into a pile of dirt.
Mia watch out for that big pile of dirt!!!
Yay!
She's all dirty.
Oh my gosh look at you.You're all dirty now!Go take a shower.
Okay.
Mia doesn't shower,she TAKES 1!!!
Mia, what are you doing?!
You told me to TAKE a shower.

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Mia runs into a pile of dirt.
Mia watch out for that big pile of dirt!!!
Yay!
She's all dirty.
Oh my gosh look at you.You're all dirty now!Go take a shower.
Okay.
Mia doesn't shower,she TAKES 1!!!
Mia, what are you doing?!
You told me to TAKE a shower.

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
About to go out.
Oops.I left my wallet in the house.Just hold on a minute.
Okay.
Runs back in the house.
Mia tries to keep a clock from moving.
Mia,what are you doing?!
It's kinda hard to HOLD on a minute when the clock hand keeps moving!!

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Survey man!
Wanna take a get it right or else survey?
Sure.
What's your favorite color?
White.
White's not a color!!!Hahahaha!!!
Nnnoooo!!

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Christmas.
A rechargeable gift card.Gee, thanks.
Your welcome.
The next day at the store.
The total is $50.And would you like to put some money back into the card?
Sure, I guess.
Out of the store.
God,that was barely a present.I still had to pay from my own money!Well, might as well throw this away now.

 

by marylinndr
2-16-04
Aaahhhh!!!I go to a year round school which means no summer vacation!
How am i suppose to know what grade i'm in?! I really don't know what i'm in!!
Well at least next week is Christmas vacation.Aaahhhhh!!! I have to go to school next week!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Work?Who needs to work?
I wanna rock & roll all night & party everyday!Not work.
$10,000 fee for rocking & rolling all night & partying everyday?!Goodness,I better go to work.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Valentines Day.
God.Please let me get some today.I really want some today.
I'm gonna walk over there right now & go get some.
YES!!!I got some!!
"You have mail."

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Somewhere in a plane...
So when you go pee in a plane,& you flush,where do they drop it?
I think they just drop it anywhere.
Why?
Cuz I just went &...
Somewhere on land...
Mommy,Mommy look!It's what I've always wanted!It's finally raining Mountain Dew!
What IS that???

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Mrs. Robinson being abducted.
Can you speak up!I can't quite hear you,my hearing aid fell out.Did you say this is an abortion because I don't think i'm pregnant!
I said this is an abduction!Not an abortion!
Throw out of the U.F.O.
They just threw me out of the U.F.O. That wasn't like the movies @ all! & what was that about an abortion anyway?
Monthly check up.
Okay Mrs. Robinson I have some weird news.You're pregnant.I've never seen an 84 year get pregnant but you proved me wrong.
Was it an abortion or an abduction?

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
At a fastfood place.
Aaahhh!!! I can't believe it!Can this possibly be real?!I've never seen such a thing!
Mmm..Yum.This is good.
Walking and thinking.
That sight hurt my eyes.Maybe I should pinch myself cuz this has to be a dream.
Telling a friend.
You'll never guess what I saw today.A black man eating mayonaise.
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
The Old Western Times.
Hey Dave,we turn around & shoot each other after 5 steps right?
10!!! Not 5!!! 10!!! How many times did I tell you that?! See,now we have to start all over again!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
That was fun.Next Saturday @ 8?
Sure.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Mr. President making a speech.
Get ready to fight America.We're going to war.
End of the speech.
It's time to get off the couch & get a gun cause we are gonna need all the help we can get.This will be the biggest war in the history of time.
The truth.
What is he talking about?We came to the White House to get the president's autograph & MEET the president,not BEAT the president.
Exactly.Why else would we say "take me to your leader?"

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
April Fools Day!!!
HURRY UP!!!
What's taking so long?
THIS ISN'T THE DMV!!!
Yes,I'm next.
Can I have an application to work for you guys?
Is this your little joke Santa?!Watch out!! I'll get you next year!!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Sitting at the park.
God he smells bad!
Do I smell that bad?

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
I guess I really should've said thank you.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Hey Mr. what do you like to do on your spare time?
ummm...I guess my computer.
Eeeewww!!! Mommy!Mommy, that man said he likes to DO his computer!!!
You disgusting pervert! I'm calling the cops!
You are under arrest.Anything you say or do...
What?! No! I was framed!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Butch is so sweet giving his date some flowers.
Who's your favorite comic book character?
Johnny The Homicidal Maniac.
Okay now he's getting mad.
Oh.Well, mine's Wonder Woman.I sometimes imagine I am a super hero.Do you ever pretend you are a comic book character?
Always.Actually,I feel like pretending right now.
Butch doesn't like to be asked too many questions.
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
She was asking too many questions.Johnny would have done the same.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Sitting at home watching some T.V.
...according to scientists at Harvard...
Scientists at Harvard?I thought that was a law school.(sigh)People don't know what they're saying anymore.I remember back in the day when...

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Remember Butch?
What's the worst thing that ever happened to you?
Meeting you.
You think he changed?
Ummm...When my DOGG Joe died.
Whoa!You had a DOG with the same name as me!
Well he didn't.Not one bit.
No.Actually, you were my DOGG...DOGG!!!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
YES!!!
WHAT THE???
I GOTTA GET NEW BATTERIES FOR THIS THING.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Lookin in the mirror.
If I shoot myself in the mirror,will I die?
?eid I lliw, rorrim eht ni flesym toohs I fI

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
These are Ebgland's colors too ya know.We shouldn't be so greedy.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Oh no! I'm allergic to tie-die!
Aaahhh! I can't get away from it!
Nooo!!Why are there hippies at my funeral?You are the reason I died!
Hey man I thought you died cuz of tie-die.Why am I talkin to a dead guy?Dude this stuff totally gets you high.Tie-die,guy,high.What a ryme,I wish I could do that all the time.WHOA!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
I'd consider myself a pyro maniac.And a pretty good one too.
"Don't create forest fires",what kind of a motto is that anyway?

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Pro Jigalow!
All right! I'm the best jigalow ever!
The next day.
All right a young one today!
The day after next.
Honey!You make appointments with jigalows?!
Yeah.& you are one.We're even.& another thing,you're here to do somrthing & I came here to do something,so let's do it.

 

by marylinndr
2-17-04
Mr. Snowman is leaving to go to war.
Bye Honey! I love you!
I love you too!Wish me luck!
Mrs.Snowman is watching to see if her husband is okay.
We have great news...The North Pole Snowmans have won the war against the Arkansas' Scarecrows...
YES!My husband is finally coming home!I'm gonna give him a great big hug right when he gets here!
They hug...
Who would have ever thought fire melts snow and then the water puts out the fire?
Yeah.But that sure was a great hug.

 

by marylinndr
2-18-04
I guess I should go take a shower now.
Hey!That's...that's not a shower!!!
Gosh,I guess I really was dirty.Hey,what's this?...
WOW!!! What a shower!!!

 

by marylinndr
2-18-04
Who ever is in here that is stupid,raise your hands!!!
Not fair!We were made this way!

 

by marylinndr
2-18-04
Day 1
Give me your lunch money!
Here take it.
Day 2
Give me your lunch money!
I'm sorry sir.Here you can have it agian.
Day 3
Give me your...hey I thought the safety was on.Man!Now how am I gonna eat lunch?!
(Wow,nice shot!)

 

by marylinndr
2-18-04
Behind a store.
Pssstt.Hey kid, wanna buy 1?
Yeah! I've been looking for those everywhere!
Still behind a store.
Pssstt.Hey you,Wanna buy 1 of these?
Oh cool!Those are so hard to find!
Inside a store.
How come people buy his MAPS but not ours?I looked at them 1 time and they are the same 1s we have.But we sell them cheaper!And it can't be because people are to lazy to come in here.
I'm pretty sure it's the trenchcoat.Everything is better with a trenchcoat.The fact that you don't know what's under the trenchcoat makes people love him.Ya know what,I have a great idea!

 

by marylinndr
2-19-04
Have you seen Planet Of The Apes?
Yeah, why?
That movie isn't like us @ all.
Yeah.We don't wear armored suits & carry around weapons.
And another thing,we don't kill humans,if we did,who would feed us?
Yeah but actually I was gonna say they didn't even eat one banana in the whole movie.

 

by marylinndr
2-19-04
At the mall.
Do you have a walk in closet?
Yeah.
Did you walk in it and walk back out of it today?
Yeah,why?
Hey everybody,he just said he came out of the closet!!!
What!No!Don't listen to him!

 

by marylinndr
2-19-04
Guess what?
Umm...
I'm a punk rocker.And guess who the coolest punk rocker in the world is?
Ummm...
It's me!
Ya say guess what and you don't even give me a chance to guess.What's up with that?

 

by marylinndr
2-20-04
Lookin at the clouds.
Don't you just hate it when it's all cloudy but it's not raining.
Yeah.It's even worse with us looking at the dark clouds.At least if it was raining,it would be relaxing and we could go to sleep.
It's like the clouds are torturing us.We know they can rain whenever they want to.
Yeah.It's like they are looking down on us laughing and saying,"Hahaha!We are not raing but you are still depressed!Hahaha!"
What?That's not what we do at all.
Hey all you clouds...don't rain yet.We got a guy in Texas whose still happy.But we'll get to him.

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