All comics by medrawt

Profile

 

by medrawt
1-22-03
The beginning of a grand experiment.
Since I'm too chickenshit to get myself a meaningful LiveJournal account, yet I feel the need to vent my building discomfort with my life in some fashion, here's a fucking comic strip.
Plunging into unknown vistas.
...
The more things change...
D'you think my character icon is better looking than I am?

 

by medrawt
1-22-03
An innocent request.
Hey Andy, can I borrow your Mr. Show DVDs?
Sure. Hey, check out the third episode of Season 1!
The next day.
Thanks for lending me the DVDs, man! That sketch about the "Third Wheel" was hilarious! Say, when are you going to dinner?
Well, I'm going with Shirley in 15 minutes. Uh, you wanna come?
Self-awareness is a bitch.
"Legend, legend, the third wheel legend; he's always in the way."

 

by medrawt
1-22-03
10:00 AM
PITCHFORK: The Dismemberment Plan is breaking up!!!
Ah, shit.
3:30 PM
EVAN HULKA: 17% of Americans think the 9/11 bombers were Iraqi!!!
Ah, shit.
12:30 AM
TOFUGODDES: hey hon what's up i had a weird day and i was drunk but now i'm sober how are you i feel weird?
Ah...i've got some chocolate milk, should i come over?

 

by medrawt
1-23-03
I just saw "Punch-Drunk Love". While I'm able to control my violent impulses much better than the Sandler character, the parallels between his latent rage and mine disturb me.
I'm reading "Crime and Punishment". Should I be bothered by the fact that I think I could handle being a murderer much better than Raskolnikov? That I imagine killing people to blow off steam?
WELCOME TO GRAND THEFT AUTO: VICE CITY!!!
I'M GONNA STEAL A COP CAR AND RUN OVER SOME HOOKERS AND THEN GET INTO A FIREFIGHT!!! SCHWEEEEEET!!!

 

by medrawt
1-23-03
It's been pointed out by certain people that if I have issues with someone, I should address them personally, and not dodge them by making up a stupid comic strip about it.
Oh, just shut the fuck up, Evan.

 

by medrawt
1-24-03
The track "I Wish vs. Cannonball" rules, I just kicked ass at NBA Live, I'm listening to Sleater-Kinney and eating a Snickers, and I have no class tomorrow until 2:00 PM!!!
...
CUM ON IN 3 DAY TRIAL ONLY $2.99 FULL ACCESS TO OUR ARCHIVES VIDS AND PICS OF MATURE TEEN ASIAN LATINA HARDCORE BLOWJOB ANAL
Small victories, ok?

 

by medrawt
1-24-03
Ask not for whom
I am drowning;
there is no sign of land.
the Mountain Goats sing;
You are coming down with me,
hand in unloveable hand.
they sing for thee.
I hope you die.
I hope we both die.

 

by medrawt
1-24-03
Are you weirded out by my presence? Do you hate me? Are you mad at me? Would you tell me if you were?
No, no, no, yes.
Oh, good. But, then...why did you turn this into a cartoon?
Ah...combination of being an asshole, with an odd sense of humor, plus I have passive agressive tendencies. But mostly for the twisted humor of it.
...
Chocolate milk?

 

by medrawt
1-24-03
In the last strip, I spelled the word "aggressive" incorrectly. It was just a typo, and I caught it a second too late. Just wanted to clear that up.
That is all.
Because I'm paranoid about what other people think about me, OK? Leave me alone.

 

by medrawt
1-25-03
I'm not bitter.
In an attempt to broaden the scope of this strip and liven it up a bit, here's my projection of what's going on elsewhere in Chicago on this fine Saturday night, while I sit at home dreaming of vodka.
Not at all.
Come on in! The party's just getting started!
FORTIES!!! BONG RIPS!!! KYLIE!!!
Though I wouldn't mind being around for this.
And when I saw how many actors there were almost as talented as *I* am, I realized I could avoid the whole mess by not casting her at all!!! In the *biz*, that's what we call -
Your girlfriend is making out with a large drunken gay man again.

 

by medrawt
1-25-03
Medrawt isn't really alone.
The thing about staying home and doing nothing on Saturday nights is that they seem to take so much longer to end than if you were doing nothing on, say, a Wednesday.
(sigh vodka sigh dance sigh sing and scream sigh coming home lonely and not minding sigh)
His roommate is by his side, doing Chinese homework into the night.
Of course, I have no one to blame but myself. I'm the one that made me stay home. I could've gone out. I didn't. Instead, I'll imagine people having a good time taking a moment to talk about me.
Betcha didn't know there was such a thing as self-hating solipsism, didja?
Inside our anti-hero's head...
Alex is lame he did not come I have many forties and I dance he is a sad fool.
Let the sad sap do whatever he thinks is necessary for his own personal diegesis. BOOT 'N' RALLY!!!

 

by medrawt
1-26-03
An irresponsible reconstruction of events for which I was not present.
OMG I LOVE TATU OMG THIS IS AMAZING!!!
Why don't you keep it down? And stay away from my girlfriend, while you're at it?
The U of C Police tend to be reasonable folks.
EVERYBODY DOWN ON THEIR FUCKING KNEES!!!
FUCKIN' PINKERTONS!!!
This certainly did not occur.
AAAUUUGGHHHH!!!
Oh, shit. Well, "to the flame!", I guess.

 

by medrawt
1-31-03
I was walking through the quad today. All the snow on the ground is slowly melting and on the brown edge of slush. I'd just left my discussion section, where we were discussing Spinoza's determinism.
The idea that everything in the world must exist just as it does because of the essence of God's nature. I was walking and looking at the sparse groups of people and I started to cry.
I think I use this background, and this iteration of my character icon, WAY the fuck too much.

 

by medrawt
1-31-03
The Return of Evan.
"I don't really need that now, I never really did anyhow, I only needed alcohol..."
"...something that'd treat me ok, and wouldn't say the things you say."
Friendship = Silence
Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands
I think I'm starting to lose it again.
Good luck with that. See ya later.

 

by medrawt
2-04-03
When looking for a mail order bride, first browse at random to become acquainted with the sorts of women who are available.
APRETTYWOMAN.COM: Hi, I'm Vasilia! I'm 18 years old, I'm a psychologist, and I don't care about your appeareance; you most important concern must be your future family with me.
You're an 18 year old psychiatrist? This is pretty dubious...
Perhaps one of these women will pique your interest, but you shouldn't make any hasty decisions.
APRETTYWOMAN.COM: Hello, my name is Inna. I'm 23 years old, and I have a high education. I'm a philologist, and I teach English and Greek.
Oh my God, you're a philologist! That's fucking great!
Instead, you should start doing focused searches on the criteria that are important to *you*.
APRETTYWOMAN.COM: The search engine will look for girls within the parameters you have specified...If you find that you are not finding enough girls, widen your search parameters.
(Fluent English, No Children, Between 19 and 23...) STOP LOOKING AT ME! [sob]

 

by medrawt
2-16-03
Carry me back, carry me back, carry me back, baby where I come from...
Yeah, I know it's been like over two weeks, but I've been busy.
...it's been a long time, been a long time...
I've been writing a couple of papers that took a great deal of thought to make mediocre, and I've also been out stockpiling on duct tape, like a good American.
...been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.
Just kidding on that one. DUCT TAPE!??!!? When the enemy comes I shall meet him with adhesive? What the fuck? Is Tom Ridge in cahoots with Shurtape? Oh Jesus.

 

by medrawt
2-18-03
A solemn quest.
I'm looking for a background that will adequately illustrate my emotional state. This seems over the top.
If you get the Dick's Picks reference, you're as lame as I am. If you *own* any, you're much, much lamer.
Without alcohol, this one just makes me feel like a hippy. Dude, have you checked out the new Dick's Picks?
Home sweet home.
Oh yeah.

 

by medrawt
3-02-03
I know it's been a while. Here's part of the reason why.
So, to review: all chance of the kind of relationship I want with a certain someone is gone. One of my best friends has a body that's falling apart from the inside.
Don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining.
My first girlfriend, and one of my best friends, just came out as trans, and had a top operation. That's not a *problem*, but it's food for thought. And this guy I knew just committed suicide.
I'm just keeping track.
I abide.

 

by medrawt
4-02-03
Current events.
Welcome home.
It's great to see you.
Vaguely awkward is normal for us.
[sad and purposeful look]
[inscrutable look in repsonse]
Meta-roman-a-clef alert!
So, I think I'm gonna represent you as the Devil in my stripcreator. How does that sound?
Accurate.

 

by medrawt
4-02-03
Meta-roman-a-clef alert continues.
So, given other recent events in my life, I wonder what it says that I'm representing you as a devil with goatee and a suit.
The thought crossed my mind. Your life is bizarre and clearly you need to take a good long look at yourself and maybe make some changes. You're fucked up and kinda frightening.
The preceeding was an exaggeration.
[sob]
Oh, you know I was just kidding. Mostly.
Set and match, trophy to the Evil One.
I know. But watch out, because I can also make you look like this:
Would you like to see me in cowboy boots now?

 

by medrawt
4-03-03
You know, I just wanted to say that I understand I've been working to make your life - uhm, where are we?
You need to get out more; we're going on a trip. You were saying?
I know that I'm making your life a lot more difficult and I've done nothing to help the situation. I'm sorry, but I'm also not sure I can really help, short of just cutting you off.
I understand, and there's no need to apologize. Well, not that I "understand", per se, but I empathize. You don't need to apologize. The situation isn't either of our faults.
Thanks. You know - where are we?!?!?!
This is where I live. You're gonna be staying here for a while. I need to go check on Sisyphus, but there's a closetfull of cowboy boots over there you might be interested in knowing about.

 

by medrawt
4-26-03
Yeah, I know I use this layout way the fuck too much, but it's appropriate, ok?
So anyway, yeah there's a reason my stripcreator has been silent for a while and absent from my AIM profile. There's a reason for that. I'm not going to dwell on it in a fucking comic strip...
...but I thought it bore mentioning. So yeah, if you hadn't heard (and considering I have an audience of about 5, you probably have) my mom died. That is all. Normal functioning should resume soon.

 

by medrawt
4-26-03
Let's join a conversation in progress...
EVAN HULKA: ...but other than that it's just a matter of playing it cool, right? I don't see why this party should be so damned stressful for you.
I'm depressed. When I'm depressed I drink. When I drink I get depressed. I don't like drinking.
EVAN HULKA: So don't drink...or just have one or two? Or do you feel like you can't go to a party without drinking?
I mean, I can handle it. I haven't been drunk in months. But I can't deal w/drunk people unless I'm drinking.
EVAN HULKA: So what're you gonna do?
What's that? I can't hear you over the vodka PARTY TIME DANCE AND DRINK AND SING AND CRY

 

by medrawt
4-28-03
There are moments when if I'm in the right mood what we talk about in class brings me near tears. For example, this British idealist, FHBradley, had this concept of "thought suicide".
"Thought suicide"?
"Thought suicide" is where thought escapes the "infinite regress" of mediated experience; my notes say that "thought is like the river that wants to lose itself in the sea".
Oh.
And we'd be left in a world of immediate sensation, which isn't really attainable, but we get an inkling through intense sensual experiences. Like sex. I nearly broke down crying. Shit, it's late.
____: Yeah, I should be getting to bed. And isn't it about time for you to have some chicken nuggets?

 

by medrawt
5-10-03
Hey, at least it's not the black background.
So, today I had a moment of extreme paranoia, which was only partially founded. I was disinvited from a mandatory function, because I "wasn't needed".
Still, I'm having trouble getting out what I want to say in a dialogue.
Which, I found out that a specific person requested I not be there, on the (probably correct) theory that it'd be easier for several people (read: him and me) that way.
Guess I'm just fundamentally solipsistic.
And that's better than if some 3rd party decided to intervene on his behalf. Which is what freaked me out, mostly. So this is better. Still, I'd like to say: MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, WORLD.

 

by medrawt
5-11-03
In the last week I got the two worst grades I've yet to recieve in college. In classes that count towards my major. Which is starting to crack my veneer of not caring about grades. This upsets me.
I'm your super-ego. I'm here to provide some much needed back and forth in these strips. Your grades will be fine, dipshit. Just work a little harder. Your GPA can stand the hit, anyway.
I'm paranoid that due to gossip and peoples' propensity to believe what they want, I'm destined to become a social pariah in the only group of people I know here. I doubt it, but I'm scared.
It's not like you're not at least partially culpable here, asshole. Even if you're afraid of being ostracized over a misconception, it's your own fucking fault for being so ridiculous.
This evening I got drunk by myself and watched free teasers for porn-video websites and reminisced about when I used to test my sanity by staring at myself in the mirror with a knife.
Get the fuck over yourself.

Showing page 1.