All comics by midgetpaw

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by midgetpaw
9-14-01
Fighting over who would win the war...if USA has one.
Yeah well fuckers we have a big fucking secret weapon!
No way USA! Us Sand Suckers are a shoe in for world domination!!!.. Bring it!!
after a while....
*COUGH*
Well shit fier with fire.
Oh lord!
I did this for this!
I'm fucking leaving

 

by midgetpaw
9-14-01
Jack our Grim Reaper is taking time to pick up a "souklmate". He needs some loving i should say.
Oh no i think she seess me looking at her ...what do i do...what could i say...oh help!
Look at that guy he's mysterious... wonder whats under the hood.
A few days later..after they got to know one another
Today i get some booty!
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Jack..
Dammit!!!! Why do all my women explode when i disrobe!
*sizzle*

 

by midgetpaw
9-14-01
Bongo the Kangaroo...loves his ben folds and hate Aussie impressions.
I pushed you cause i loved you guys... didn't realize you were having fun! *la la la* you may take this song for granted.... hmmm hmmm*hum*
Oh boy a kangaROO! Howdey Mate!
Jakob's just an idjit!
EEK!
Zero is just here for fun!
Why are you a bug Jakob
Shut up ...mate!

 

by midgetpaw
9-14-01
Zero loves to do handy work
Zero you really must stop this hammering buisness! I'm your friend... Really you need..ZERO!
Nail...skull..hammer...ABUG IS IN MY BRAIN!!
Zero you goofy man in the wall not your skull!
I can't watch
ow...kinda hurts... hmm...ketchup
Zero keeps forgetting who satan is.
Well Zero... i guess this time i might keep you in hell!
Pan you smell funny...

 

by midgetpaw
9-14-01
Jesus Fights for zero's soul.
YOu only say you'll take him off my hands ... you'll meet him and throw him back my way.
Zero can't be that bad Lucifer he's only human. I love everyone and everything.
Jesus meets Zero.
Listen Zero You need to play close attention. I'm giving you a chance to repent....Zero? ZERO!!!
Gott kill the bug ... kill kill kill kill... MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!
Zero wiull be ok don't worry.
So yhey let you go again Zero?
Ack .... i smell chicken ....

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
A note from Midgetpaw
Hi Sorry up until this comic...every damn strip has had a typo... do i do that shit on purpose..hell no... i just can't type worth shit... and am to lazy to check my work.
So throughout the whold strip you will avoid all typos?
This will work out for me!
Thats what i am saying you twit... no typos ...the whole strip... and i only have one more panel to go.
Good luck!
...enter Zero...the strip is fucked
Zero get the fuck away... OUT!!!
so...no typo..whatsoever??? That be kinda hard ..wouldn't you think?

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
No one can help me
Jesus after that last comic i noticed a typo before... Zero... what the hell is wrong with me.
My child I am sorry but i have no answer for you...other than... you my dear were born to screw up constantly...laugh at yourself... work with the typos... make them work for you.
Letter from god.
Dear Zero, go on with the comic as planned ... we aren't cancelled...Love, Jesus.
So Zero whats going down?
Everything is back to normal... in Typo hell
I'm off to go kill that bug in my head... and we still have a job.
Wahooo!! Nakey Time...CELEBRATE GOODTIMES COME ON!!! wait... Zero... whats with that hammer... ZERO!

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
America speaks to its one true savior
You there I need your help! The whole WORLD is in the palm of your hands...Do you understand! Can you fly this bird?
I will defeat you!
...2 minutes later
earlier from zero's point of view.
You there i need your brain! The whole army of bugs are in the folds of your mind...Do you understand!
I will defeat you!

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
On a pleasant summer day ...short term memory fellow Leonard Shelby stubbles upon Gabe from Penny arcade
Oh Hi there little man... whats going on My names leonard... who are you?
Why does everyone come up to me and ask that!
Lenny doesn't seem pleased.
Yeah...Hey there... my names Jonathan Gaberial ... but everyone I know calls me "Gabe" ...Dude why is your eye twitching like that???
John G. raped and murdered my wife!
Oh god...poor Gabe.
*crackle*
why is that fire there?

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
So there you have it one cartoon so far has had no typos to be detected... in the last comic...stubbles" was ment to be "stumbles"... but they typos are easy to figure out... too bad the comics suck.
Yes and MidgetPaw can't express how sorry she is for her damned typing skills.
And Jesus he's sick of telling everyone how sorry he is that she still continues with this crap of a "comic"
Thanks but i could have said that little man.
and well.. I'm just hear cause i look neat.
Fucking A!

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
Zero Sings for his friends
"She was a day tripper yeah...one way ticket yea... it took me sooooo long to find out... but i found out....."
Jack sheds light on Zero's situation.
Thats so weird Zero you sang a Beatles song... even though we all know your afraid "bugs" are in your brain!?! I'm Proud.
Beatles? Bugs? But that song has been stuck in my....Oh GOD!
enter Jesus
We meet again Zero...ZERO!!!!!!
Must kill the Beatles ...must kill...must kill...

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
Cowboy Jacob meets Jesus.
Oh God!!!
No my son I'm Jesus
Cowboy Jacob meets Brad Pitt
Tyler Durtin! Wow this is amazing!
Sorry to disappoint you son but I only played Tyler once in a movie, I'm Brad Pitt
Poor Cowboy Jacob never gets any thing right.
Let me guess your not a real telephone.
What a Dumbass.

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
Jessi's first time on the net.
Hello Sweet heart what are you wearing? I'm a 6'2" of a blonde man... and I want some loving!
Oh yes finally someone worth talking to.
Zero and the net...
Hey Jack I gotta sexy one!!!
I'm naked and lying on my bed ... and my hand is accending downward....
days later
So you knew it was Zero the whole time?? Jessi how???!?! He was acting all smooth!
Well his Screen name was Zerotohero... and during the actual cybering he yelled that the bugs were attacking his brain... then i didn't get another response.

 

by midgetpaw
9-15-01
Patty and Jessi talk about the impossible...
You had sex with zero??!!? but How... I mean... he's not naturally balanced!!
Oh i did it alright... and god was he ever amazing!
two days before...
Jessi how am i going to get rid of these bugs... jesus says i need to quit with the hammering... and knives don't seem to work.
Well Zero first things first you lie me down and the grass... and I'll show you how its done.
48 hours later...
Zero that was simply... I had 4 orgasims... how did you ever accomplish so much...Again?!?! Hell yea...
The bugs... Jessi Help me!!!!!!!!!

 

by midgetpaw
9-17-01
Zero still confused over the whole Jessi encounter...fights with himself over giving her a ring.
Should I call her?
BRRRRRRRRRING! RING! RRRRRRRRRRRING!!!
Jack tries to lend a helpful hand.
Zero will anser that PHONE!!!!!!
Jack I can't figure it out...Should I call her... or wait the typical male... 4 days? Well I could ... ummm... I'll figure it out after I kill the bugs!
Aww how sweet
I've been trying to call Zero all day I wonder what he's thinking... Hopefully its about me.
Ow...my head is really hurting... ow...ow... mmm...cookies.

 

by midgetpaw
9-17-01
Jeff tries to help Zero out with Womanly problems
Well Zero I don't know what to tell you... express how you feel to her on the internet if... you fear that you can't express yourself verbally.
But what if she ... But... I don't know... ok I'll try...
Zero Types out a love letter
Dear Jessi ...I love you... Marry me....someday.
*tick* *tack* *click* *clack*
I have no idea if that is a good thing.
Dear Jessi... I love ... ACK THE BUGS...Marry... kill.. them!!! Me.
I don't know it thats good o

 

by midgetpaw
9-17-01
Jeff gets pissed about the Zero Connection!
Hey Jeff why did you call me over here?
Listen I am sick of hearing Zero's problems with you ...I have alot of Uo to get done and very little time!!! Why don't you just go visit the poor fellow!!! He seems to want to see you...
At Zero's
I don't know if i should....Jessi and I might be...
Might be what Zero?!?! Has she called you in a while... does she visit you like me??!?
Zero's in trouble... to be continued!
Zero !! Hey its Jessi I'm coming in!
Qick hide!!!

 

by midgetpaw
9-17-01
Jeff... at home
Dammit!!! Why is this ...oh my Goth!!!
*niegh* *sword swishing* *moo* *arrows flying* *mooo*
Sage at home...
Heh... UO...Heh ...UO .....UO ....UO.... UO ...UO... Ultima ONLINE... UO!!!!
*click* *jiz* *clack* *tick* *tock*
I swer to god!

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
Midget paw explains...
HI! Ok I'm here to explain... The last comic... before the conclusion... of the Zero/Jessi... Dun dun dun... problem....Well... I messed up... that asian Girl is scary...
Damn Straight she's scary Kaylan...ert....Midgetpaw.
On with it...
I swear to god Jeff!!!! Don't say my real name!!! *sigh* any how She was an accident i pressed enter before i finished... and scary woman appeard... and I don't know how to delete comics or re-edit.
Pssssssst...Kay...Midgetpaw... you can see your undies.
Ha...Next comic is Zero PromisE!!!
EEK! Ok ok... Dammit! On to the next comic... I just wanted to Explain that scary midget lady! YOu off to Play UO???
Of Course! Hmm... Speaking of midgets... Ka...Your pretty short.... Ooo...i can see my computer glowing from here...

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
Jessi ... is confused about the curtain movement!!!
Zero hey!! I'm here... Hey whats that moving behind the curtain???
I dunno... my Telly? It likes to run about...Or maybe a bug... but is certainly not Beccubus!!! That would be absurd... so yea... no worries...
Confronting the slut!!
Listen Beccubus you evil bitch and listen well Zero is my man and if you ever try and touch him I will be all over you like butter on bread!!! He's my cutie...so fuck off!!!
This isn't over Jessi!!! I will get him one day... that hot hunk of meat will be mine... watch you back!
After the evil villian has left the scene.
I love you jessi...should i go kill myself for... this?! It might help with the bugs.
No thats ok Zero.. We'll find another way to deal with the bugs...

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
Sage reaches Drays home...First!
Hmm...Finally I found this place... after all the time searching through the phonebooks...searching through maps... I finally Found the Home of One Dray Mcfarlane! Hey his door is wide open sweet!!
Poor dray has no idea that his door is now closed!
*tap* *click* *tap* *click*
Hmmm Wonder where sage is maybe he really quit UO... amazing thought!!!
Poor Dray.
HEY DRAY!!!! What are you doing...shorter than I imagined...Still Sexy though...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
20 minutes after the Attack on Dray.
Strange...Dray Isn't on Uo... Odd... Hope nothing bad has happened to him.
Overlooked Post on Zuluhotel: Here I come bristol!!!Sage...P.S. THE FLAMIN ENTS and BoD RULE!!
Uh oh!
Oh Jeff behind you!! Its your best friend SAGE!!!!!!!
If i stand still He can't see me.
Jeff Lucked out.
Guess he's not here...dammit thats a shame.
*whew* Thank you god!

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
Sage walks right past Nathan on his way... Hah!!
Midgetpaw never locks her doors... so Lets go to her house then... to Daves!!!
heh...
No one is home
Its Locked?!!?! Impossible!!
On the inside covering their asses are Midgetpaw herself and Dray
I can't believe he found us!
That was the scariest thing ever...I'll need therapy... for years and years after this...

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
Uh oh...DAVE watch out!!!
*Knock * *knock*
Wonder Who that could be...
Oblivious to whats going on dave should cover his...
DAVID!!! *licks lips* I've been Waiting all of my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife...All of of my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife...for this moment!!!!!!!
who the hell?
....
It me ....SAGE!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *screaming like a little girl*

 

by midgetpaw
9-18-01
Echo notes...
I am behind you
I am behind you
Dun ...dun...dun!!
who are you?
I...AM...SAGE!!!!!!!
Hmmm... why are we so scared???
so?
Never thought of it that way....

 

by midgetpaw
9-20-01
Sorry to say...
*sigh* Hi, Its me again.I'm having a bad time here. Patty's run away from the comic for a bit.... she and I had a fall out. I'm sure sometime she'll return.but till then here is Gabe Rorschach
Howdey!
Wait a sec....
Wait a minute! Your Manhattan...Where is Rorschach??
He's on a break He'll return in Five...
hmm... damn confedrates..war is over the south will never rise again. Get off your high horse.
So then i say to him....
nobody cares

 

by midgetpaw
11-20-01
The return...
Well after much time at sea sailing in a sailboat with no sail... I got scurvy and desided to return home.
Woman like I said you can't be cute little patty... she was blonde and innocent and even if you were you are sooo not getting my job dressed like that.
the hell?
By the power of mine... i am...errr Patty!
the hell?
heh he Welcome back Patty
So now what do you say?
Nothing considering your ZAP turned me to ASH!!!

 

by midgetpaw
11-21-01
Jeff and Patty
So your dressed like this because of Scurvy?
Yes why is that so hard to believe
Hmm... Your point
Only pirates get scurvy
yea so...
heh heee
I hate you
Arrrrrrrrg!

 

by midgetpaw
12-12-01
Oh the fun continues
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!
ert...stop it!
oh Dave's going to kill Patty.
Aye!
I'm not kidding!
Drug-free Patty!
Was SHE wearing a "straight edge" ...X???
thats soo wrong.

 

by midgetpaw
12-21-02
Land Before Time 100
So Sarah what have you been into since land before time
Not too much just been chillin... after you know Little Foots Strange disappearnce from your Christmas Party last year.
Land Before Time 100
This is some Damn good Coffee...
I wonder what ever happened to him...
Land Before Time 100
Would you like to see the Kitchen
sure... when are the other guests arriving

 

by midgetpaw
3-27-03
Hi kids I'm Mr. Cigs and I'm here To tell you about how smoking is bad! And can cause death...hey do you hear something?
No ...HELP...AHHHHH
no it's cool
Ahhh Cancer...Hey Little buddy you don't mind this do you?

 

by midgetpaw
3-28-03
Booo to drugs...
....
Read the sign
LIES!!!
Owww.....

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