All comics by mtgrnwdstar

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by mtgrnwdstar
3-05-06
Hi...I'm here to plunder your valuables...can you direct me to your most valuable objects?
.....
OK, well, I think I'll just go and take whatever I can find.
......
Two minutes later...
...Who knew that the safe was equipped with shape-shifting defense technology?
Schmuck.

 

by mtgrnwdstar
3-05-06
Hungry, our hero decides to stop for a bite to eat.
Howdy. Welcome to the Moon-Burger. How may I help you today?
Hi, would I be eligible for a 'Five-Finger Discount' Membership?
Hmm, let me ask my manager.
Here comes the manager!
So, big guy...I hear you're into the 'raping and plundering' business.
I always meet the weirdos in this job...

 

by mtgrnwdstar
3-05-06
Hey, Jimmy, why doesn't the chicken wear pants?
I dunno Tommy, why?
Because its pecker is on its face!! Hahahaha!!
....
Hey, Jimmy, where you goin'?
Mustard is delicious on hot dogs.

 

by mtgrnwdstar
3-05-06
BAM! Headshot!
What the hell! Hacker!
That's game, bitch.
Fuck you, you just got lucky.
So, how'd your game go? I won.
I lost to some fuckin' hacker. I wish I knew who he was, because I'd kick his ass from here to Broadway.

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-10-07
I am glad you took time out to speak with me...as you know, I have but a few breaths left in me, and I must beseech for your sorrow for the grave sin that you have committed.
As I am a man who forgives people's sins, no matter how depraved they may be, I felt yours was beyond all boundaries of good taste and self-respect. But if you ask nicely, I may grant you fogriveness.
Look, man, they paid me tons of money for it. I cannot go back. By the way, tell God that when he answered my prayer last week, that the chick had gonorrhea, so thanks for nothing, dick.
Dude, think about it...BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!? A movie about gay cowboys? Did f**king Joe Eszterthas write that s**t?

 

Um, yeah...we may have differed in interpreting what I meant by "bring me some hot wet pussy"...
by mtgrnwdstar, 1-10-07

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-10-07
Dear God, Tommy, did you see that?
My goodness, that was the most destruction of personal property I have ever seen!
There's no way anyone could have survived that wreck!
Agreed...Jimmy, if anyone comes out of that alive, it'll be a miracle.
Think of all the victims...
Hey, they signed the contract to act in "Unaccompanied Minors". They got what they deserved.

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-10-07
That was "Fergalicious", and coming up next, "SexyBack"!
Aw, gimme a break!
You know what we need? Less Timberlake and more groundbreaking music!
You're watching MVT: Music Video Television! Less creativity, more mindless pop, 24/7! Coming up, the Paris Hilton Hour!
I see Jimmy stumbled across MVT again...

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-10-07
OK, Jimmy, so you're telling me you want to take up arms against MVT?
We HAVE to, Tommy! Musical freedom and integrity must be protected!
...says the kid who pirates MP3s for hours a day.
Shut up. Are you in or not?

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-10-07
Alright, troops! The enemy: MVT! The crime: Crappy music! This will be tough, but I have the perfect plan to bring down this conglomerate of communism!
And that would be...?
This is the part where War General, Thomas Henderson, steps in...
...you're an idiot.

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-10-07
OK, TROOPS! We need to count who's all here...ROLL CALL!
Um....so far it's us two, a squirrel, and some creepy thing.
*squirrely noise*
Grr...SQISH...FITE...MURDURRR...
Oh, man, I can't believe this...We'll be UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm going upstairs.

 

by mtgrnwdstar
1-11-07
What the...
A body in a garbage can? Small, big head, and the rest of the body stick-like in proportion? This can only mean one thing...
AHHH! NICOLE RICHIE IS DEAD!

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