All comics by nealch

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by nealch
8-03-05
Dean and Ross: two American high-school teenagers
Aaargh! This is so frustrating, Ross. With my mom chaperoning this field trip and hanging over my head, I'll never be able to mack on the ladies.
Uh oh... here he goes again...
I don't get it. I mean, on the one hand she wants me to eventually get married so she can have grandkids, yet when she sees me hitting on girls she gets all "Mom-ish" and stops me.
How am I supposed to date, get married, and give her grandkids when she stops me from talking to girls? It makes no sense.
You forget one thing, Dean. See, moms are women and women don't make sense.

 

by nealch
8-09-05
...aww man, you're right. X over 2 WAS 7.
Of course I'm right. I'm always right.
No you're not, you big liar!
Oh yeah? When have I ever been wrong?
Last semester when you said Lindsay Walton gave handjobs on the first date.
Just because she didn't give YOU one doesn't mean I was wrong.

 

by nealch
8-12-05
The future of Dean and Ross.
My wife is so irritating. She always nags at me to do more around the house...
And then when I do, she nags at me AGAIN for not doing it the right way; a.k.a. "her" way.
I just can't win, dude. Why do I even bother?
...'Cause she's great in the sack.

 

by nealch
9-02-05
I, Grim Reaper, the ender of human lives, am the most EVIL of all!!!
No way! I Nergal, Sumerian god of plague, am the most EVIL of all!!!
Hey boys. I'm Paris Hilton.
ARRRGH! The most EVIL of all!
ARRRGH! The most EVIL of all!

 

by nealch
9-14-05
Hi Claude. How was your Japanese Culture class?
It sucked. I thought it would be all about anime and video games, but it wasn't.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world...
Hi Yuki-chan. How was your American Culture class?
It sucked. I thought it would be all about Oprah Winfrey and hip-hop, but it wasn't.

 

Hey EMO KID!!!!! Do you cry when you jerk off too?!?!?!?!
by nealch, 9-16-05

 

by nealch
9-16-05
You know, Ross, breast cancer research groups could make a ton of money if they targeted strip clubs.
Yeah, I can see the "Save the Boobies" pitch now: "Millions of boobies are in dire need of fondling. Won't you help?"
Heh. So why do you suppose they haven't done that yet?
'Cause most strip clubs these days are "look but don't touch."

 

Man, Amy Gardner looked so cute when she was sleeping on the bus. I wish I was in the next seat so I could say I slept with her.
by nealch, 9-26-05

 

by nealch
9-27-05
Yo Dean. How're things going with your new band?
Fine... except for the guitarist's little sister. She interrupted our practice to say "I like you guys, but you gotta ditch that loser ass keyboard player."
I guess she's just pissed that I'm not into flat-chested 6th graders who dress like sluts.
Hmmm... What about ample-chested 6th graders who dress like sluts?

 

Man, majoring in engineering sucks. I'm the only girl in a department full of creepy, geeky, nerdy, gross, socially inept guys.
Quit whining. At least you actually HAVE guys in your program. In Women's Studies all we have are feminists and dykes.
by nealch, 11-30-05

 

Man, why do girls have to be so bitchy that time of the month?
Well, you'd be bitchy too if you gushed chunky blood out of your cock every month!
by nealch, 1-29-06

 

Yo, did you hear that Vice President Cheney accidentally shot his hunting partner?
What a country we live in, man. We have Elmer Fudd for a Vice President.
by nealch, 2-13-06

 

by nealch
6-08-06
Hey Amy! Emo-Kid doesn't want to get into your pants...
He wants to wear them!

 

by nealch
7-06-06
Congratulations on getting the lead in the play, Leah. Your talent really got you that role.
Yeah... your talent for flashing your boobs without inhibition.

 

by nealch
11-17-06
So Kaylie, what do you fear the most?
That one day you'll leave me for another girl and I'll be left all alone.
How about you, sweetie? What do you fear the most?
...Snakes. Either that or insult wars with Ross.

 

by nealch
5-02-08
*cry, cry sob sob whine whine WAAAAAAAAAH*
Geez you're a wuss. Suck it up and grow a pair!
...
Oh come on! With all the penis enlargement ads in your email, even YOU could grow a tree trunk and a pair of bowling balls!

 

by nealch
10-15-08
Ugh, I can't stand Sarah Palin. She's so freakin' annoying, just like my mom.
Heh, your mom's pretty bad, but I think Palin might be worse.
Huh? How?
Hockey moms? Joe Sixpacks? Dude, she thinks we're Canadian!

 

by nealch
10-17-08
I gotta run to class now. See you later, Dean. *smooch*
Bye sweetie. I'll call you after school.
Ooh, looks like things are going well between you and Kaylie.
Yeah... it's weird though. When we first started going out, my mom didn't want me to have anything to do with her.
But now that she knows Kaylie's from a well-to-do family, she's all for it.
Dude, the only thing more embarassing than your mom not letting you see a girl is your mom getting all enthusiastic about it.

 

I can't believe it! I asked Kaylie who her favorite band was and she said the FreeCreditReport.com band... and she wasn't kidding!
Well considering how bad the economy is, people can't afford to listen to anything better.
by nealch, 7-17-09

 

One illogical plan after another. Where is BP getting their ideas from? Japanese role playing games?
And considering those clutch situations where Billy missed in Xenogears and Irvine choked in Final Fantasy 8... yeah we're screwed!
by nealch, 6-01-10

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