All comics by nightheat5000

 

by nightheat5000
7-29-03
in the mean streets of long beach...
Pimp Kid, Imma give you one of my lower ranked bitches. this is yo chance to prove yo self. her name is lorraine, and she aint much, but you gonna have to work wit dat.
oh my god, this is my big chance.
now, do you think you can handle pimping your own bitch? don't take this on if you can't handle it. you fuck up and you's gonna be a bitch yo self. i'll pimp yo child ass to all dem faggots..
Hellz yeah, i can handle this sheet. I won't let you down, imma have this bitch making mad dolla billz.
Ok. I'm trusting you Pimp Kid. Don't let me down.
i wonder what this lorraine looks like.. don't matter none. i'll work her like a dog.

 

by nightheat5000
7-29-03
Hi, I'm lorraine.
Bitch, I aint be caring what yo name is. the only thing on my mind is money. so get on it or i won't break you off with that heroin you be needin. get on dat street and make some money.
the first customer...
Hi, I'm lorraine. Are you looking for a good time?
That depends... are you a transvestite?
Yes.. yes i am.
Well in that case, im very interested... follow me.

 

by nightheat5000
7-29-03
this chick is hot! and she's totally wet for me! I think I want to cyber sex with her, can you give me a few minutes of privacy? (typing) my cock is hard and ready...
Fuck you Pete, I'm going over to Justins house.
Justin's house...
Hey Jerome, this is funny, I'm talking to Pete on the internet pretending to be a girl. Hah. he's totally jerking off.
everyone is on the internet but me. that shit is so gay.
Hey Jerome, geez where is everyone?! Anyway, want to make out behind that 7-11?
Sheet yah baby.. now that is what im talking about. Let's do dis sheet.

 

by nightheat5000
7-29-03
How the fuck am i supposed to know what a transvestite is? What do I look like a fucking rocket scientist?! WELL FUCK YOU TOO YOU JAGGOFF!!
Don't tell me you lost that customer. Dont even tell me that! I'll beat you so damn hard...
oh no. Pimp Kid! better lay low for a couple of days.. im outta here.
YOU HEAR ME BITCH?! GET OVER HERE! RIGHT NOW!!!
Don't you run away from me! Get back here! Lorraine.. LORRAINE... oh shit.. im in trouble..

 

by nightheat5000
7-29-03
July 29th
2 days ago... July 27th, 3:30 PM
someone is trying to kill me..
no one is trying to kill you.
2 hours ago.. July 27th, 1:30 PM
hopefully she was in that building.

 

by nightheat5000
7-29-03
hi, my name is jonathon.
10 minutes later..
Well it was nice meeting you. You have my number, call me sometime.

 

by nightheat5000
7-30-03
Your bedroom is in an underground bunker?
Yeah. Go ahead and go in first.
Oh my god.. what's with all the human body parts in here?
Those are just props from my halloween party last year.
5 hours later...

 

by nightheat5000
11-16-04
Christmas Day, And Chris Christian is trying on his new outfit
You're going downtown, cowboy. You have $2000 in outstanding parking tickets. Whew, the boys are going to love you in that outfit.
Oh fuck he's right, why did I have to try on my present so soon? fuck.
later on in jail...
and you stood at the door with your hands on my waist, AND YOU KISSED ME LIKE YOU MEANT IT, AND IIIII KNEWWWW THAT YOU MEANT IT
Is that dashboard confessional?
I love cowboys. I'm going to fuck you silly and write a song about it later on my acoustic guitar. emo style.
Worst christmas ever.

 

by nightheat5000
11-17-04
Hey hey... bitchin party, huh.... can i get you a corona.... yeah.... alright.... not saying a word.. i dig it.... i dont feel like talking either... let's just stand here, silent...
My name is Chris by the way. (fuck, im not getting anything, i need to break the ice somehow) Hey I've got a joke for you, why did the chicken cross the road... Why? Because you're a faggot.
She'll be back. She loves my quirky off beat sense of humor.

 

by nightheat5000
11-17-04
3 hours later....
Oh man, a fire. Guess the partys over. I better walk home seeing how the beemah is out of comission.
don't blame me for your lady problems. it's not my fault you're a douche bag.
The last time I saw a face like yours it had a hook through it.... hahahaha... but seriously... you're alright. My name is Chris, what's yours?
Melissa. Listen I just had a rough day, could you just shut the fuck up?
Suddenly the fire from the party spreads to the streets...
What the fuck?! You're back?! Thanks for chasing away that girl, she was totally into me!!
Please, do me a favor, walk three steps forward.

 

by nightheat5000
7-10-05
See that guy? I killed him.... with my cock.
What?
See that guy? I killed him. WITH MY MOTHERFUCKING COCK.
No one believes me.

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