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| "It's the all-new Now That's What I Call Music...Volume 94!" | |
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| "Featuring boring pop songs that get played every hour on the hour! You know you can't get enough of these overplayed and soon-to-be forgotten tunes!" | |
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| "And when you do get tired of the music, the CD makes a great coaster! Handy when you're shotgunning that Kool-Aid on a Saturday night!" | |
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