All comics by nomorevp

 

E or F by nomorevp 2-22-01
No one ever pays attention to me.	I'm sorry, what did you say?	I asked if you could spare some change.

 

Field Trippin' by nomorevp 2-22-01
It's so neat that we got to come to the White House on a field trip!	I mean, the White House is SO important. This is where it all happens.	You're right. Where's my fucking gun?

 

Bench Press Release by nomorevp 2-22-01
My ass hurts. My hands hurt.	I can't move. I can't feel my legs.	Such is the life of Siamese twins joined at the bench.

 

Bling Squared by nomorevp 2-23-01
Ring ring.	RING RING! Did someone say Bling Bling?	GODDAMMIT, I SAID RING, MOTHERFUCKER! Bitch, you best check that shit.

 

Free Bawlin' by nomorevp 2-23-01
Dude, I've been looking all over this frat house for some beer.	Don't you wanna help me out?	Shit, dude, look around! This isn't a frat house, it's the middle of the goddamn desert! Now where's my Abercrombie hat?

 

Is This Thing On? by nomorevp 2-23-01
Hey, Mike? Yes, Dad?	There's something I never told you about your mother. What is it, Dad?	I killed her.

 

My hero is bleeding by nomorevp 3-06-01
Hey, Jesus? I know you died for our sins and all...	But there was just one thing I was wondering...	Could you get off that fucking cross and get back to work?

 

Beatnik... No, seriously, beat him by nomorevp 3-06-01
Java! JAVAAHHH! Yeah, cool cat! Yeeeah... I can DIG it!	The cosmic night train has just pulled into the station! All aboard to COOOOOL CITY! Yeeeeah, cat! You know the drill! The man is in the know!	JAAVVVVVAAAAAHHH!!!! Ooo, that's hot!

 

Consider it DUG! by nomorevp 3-06-01
Man, this place is total SQUARESville, man! Yeah, cool cat! Let's beat it! This place is to my karma what sharp objects are to children, man!!	Wow, maaaaaannnn! That was HEAVY! You laid it on me like bag of cement, my brotha! Knocked me OUT! I feel ya, cat! That one made my MIND hurt, man! My cranium is THROBBING from that overdose of pure COOL extract!	Man, there you GO again man! Too much COOL for one man to handle! More COOL in that man than there are Andy Warhol paintings in my bathroom! YEEEAAAAHHH! I have SEEN your bathroom with my own EYES, MAN! It is like a SHRINE! I dig it! Consider it DUG!

 

Don't Forget to Tip Your Server by nomorevp 3-06-01
Hey, man...	Is there a good place to take a dump around here? Yeah, down the hall, to your left, first door on the right.	Hey, thanks a bunch. You do realize the toilet in there will drain the everlasting spirit from your body, don't you?

 

Hee-whore by nomorevp 3-06-01
Hmmm... Don't I know you? Well, I caint;t be too sure a that...	Wait a minute, you're the guy that framed my dad for manslaughter and let him serve the 5-10 years you deserved! Well, GAWLEEEE!! Shucks, that was so long ago!	yeah, it's been too long. What have you been up to lately? Framin' other guys fer manslaughter 'n lettin' 'em serve jail time.

 

Row, Row, Row Your Bot by nomorevp 3-06-01
Excuse me, miss. I was wondering if I could touch your hair.	Awhhh, come on! I've never gotten to touch human hair and I want to touch it before I die!	Ok, so I can't die, I'm a robot. At least let me drill you some nostrils. They'll be sexy.

 

Block Rockin' Beatniks by nomorevp 3-07-01
I just got back from the new bagel shop down the street. It is FARRR OUT! Yeah, I heard they have cream cheese that taps into your unused brain cells! WICKED!	That is a FACT, my man! They even have ginseng tea that can channel your past lives and show their highlights on closed-circuit television! That is out of this WORLD, cat!	Most definitely, it is NOT for the weak at heart! Woman and children, stay away! Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery! Wow, your aura is like a tie-dyed stained glass window into your SOUL, my man! All too pristine, yet groovy!

 

Please Remain Mellow by nomorevp 3-07-01
Woah, this place is giving me the melancholy, BLUES, man! Somebody tore the roof off this sucka like they were the hand of God!	They must've been some HOT number! I want to see that instant replay, cat! Do not be disparaged, my man! I think I saw some cool cat up front getting the whole thing on video!	That is some KILLER wind we got going on in here, daddy-o! No doubt we are experiencing some WICKED turbulence! Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the four horsemen of the apocalypse!

 

Rambohemian by nomorevp 3-07-01
Look at him go, man! He's balanced like Edie Brickell's karma, man!	All the atoms in my body are tingling at the sight of such an outright defiance of gravity, daddy-o!	Actually my feet were eternally glued here by the devil himself for punishment for all the people I pooped on in my life. That is HEAVY, MAN!

 

Let's Not Make a Big Deal Out of This by nomorevp 3-07-01
So I heard you don't like staring contests. Well, I'll cure you of that!	Take this!	This is precisely why mom left.

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