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| Dear Diary: Tonight is my 29th! I'm going to party my ass off! | |
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| What're you doing? Fuck the piledriver, hit him with the chair! THE CHAIR!!! | |
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| Oh my god, you totally knocked that putt right into the windmill. | |
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| It's my birthday, dammit, and I AM going back for fourths on the salad bar! | |
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| Dear diary: This was the most exciting night of my life. ...which is why I have decided it's long past time I put those cyanide pills to good use. That and the fact I'm 29 and keep a diary. | |
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