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| Maria, remember that time I called you up, all frantic, saying that a monkey broke into my room and stole my favorite sweater? | |
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| Oh, yeah, I do! That was such a cute phone call! | |
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| And then I went on to say that the monkey put on my sweater, and it ran out the door, and you should come over to help me figure out how to get it back? | |
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| Aw, that was so nice of you cheer me up like that! I was going through a rough time back then. | |
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| Well, on that day I told a horrible, horrible lie! I lied to you, Maria! I LIED! There was never any fucking monkey, and I haven't owned a fucking sweater in years! | |
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| He might not be a looker, but at least he's marginally better in bed than my brother Michael. | |
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