All comics by novipatrick

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by novipatrick
12-10-07
clem learns about the dangers of marijuana...
my weekend was so crazy!
yeah i heard...
wait, what do you mean?
well you know, the thing with the broken broom handle and the lube and... well, you know...
oh man, it must have been saturday night, i was so high... i don't remember anything...
... i'm so ashamed..

 

by novipatrick
12-10-07
please kill me.

 

by novipatrick
12-11-07
Jamal! I saw you this weekend!
I didn't go out this weekend, my daughter was sick.
you sure?
...mhmm.
yeah right.
..and my name is stephen.

 

by novipatrick
12-11-07
whoa! aren't you bugs bunny?!
no, i'm just an ordinary rabbit.
you're not a rabbit, you're a bunny!
wow. the real bugs bunny.
christ.

 

by novipatrick
12-11-07
soul ride!
... take it easy!
4 years later...
soul ride!
take it easy!

 

by novipatrick
12-11-07
I just got this new job where alls I have to do is make sure nobody steals this statue..
.... which isn't a problem for someone with the quickest hands in the west.
aw crap.

 

by novipatrick
12-11-07
hello...
hi?
yeah, ummm. AWKWARD, um, Is there a lost & found anywhere around here? I lost my crowbar..
no, im sorry sir. This is a crime scene not a library.. And you're holding a crowbar.
oops! ha, um, well um, byeeeee.
"......................"

 

by novipatrick
12-12-07
So I went to my kids recital last night.
How'd that go?
Halfway through I used the mens room...
... boogers everywhere.
disgusting.

 

by novipatrick
12-12-07
Jesus Christ! You scared the hell out of me!
Did somebody say something?

 

by novipatrick
12-13-07
Hey do you know how to work one of these?
I live in a trash can.
What did you just say about "The Band"
I said I live in a trash can.
oh okay.
yeah...

 

by novipatrick
12-14-07
So are you one of those "glow in the dark" cats?
............
meow.

 

by novipatrick
12-14-07
... and thats how I blew up the world.
jeez..
Why "jeez"?
nothing, nevermind...
no, seriously, what the hell dude?
well, i mean, thats pretty dick.

 

by novipatrick
12-14-07
yeahhh boiii, you want some of this kung fu motherfucking steez?
bring it on.
..some of this mothafuckin' ninja steez ill shit?!
that's right, fistacuffs!
.. you ain't worth it crackaa.
fine.

 

by novipatrick
12-15-07
NO. It's never smart to wear mismatched socks.
I don't really see the big deal in it...
You're in a car wreck. The paramedics salvage your mangled body from the wreckage, cut off your pants, your shirt, your shoes, then BAM! Mismatched socks. Totally embarassing.
I'll take my chances.

 

I leave you in charge for 5 minutes and this is what happens?
by novipatrick, 12-17-07

 

by novipatrick
12-19-07
Forgive me Father , I have sinned.
What sin have thee commited, my Son?
I was flipping through the channels last night and watched "House of Payne" for like 10 seconds. Total accident.
excommunication.

 

by novipatrick
12-19-07
Hey do you know where 5th street is?
um.... no?
sorry.
don't worry about it.
hey man, did you just see that tarantula?
that what?

 

by novipatrick
12-23-07
Where did you pick that coffee up?
Off of the coffee table.
I think that's mine.
Heh, I thought it tasted like skank.

 

by novipatrick
12-23-07
Man, you are so un-mature..
Don't you mean "immature"?
... No.
Yeah I went there.

 

by novipatrick
1-04-08
I wonder what happened here, man.
yeah.
i mean it's pretty icy out and that car is pretty torn up, i hope everyones okay.
..yeah..
do you care about anyone other than yourself?
not really.

 

so did you checkout the new abracadaver record? i used to like them... before they got too mainstream. i seriously listened to them before anybody else.
by novipatrick, 6-22-09

 

by novipatrick
6-24-09
so what's your excuse this time, did you get into another "fender bender"?
actually, yeah.
now how am i suppose to believe you?
....

 

by novipatrick
9-29-11
son of a bitch.

 

by novipatrick
11-09-25
and what if the earth *is* flat? then what?
!!!

 

by novipatrick
11-26-25
you will be punished for your gluttony!
some might say I'm a glutton for punishment.
sigh.

 

by novipatrick
11-29-25
what have you got there?
a magic eight ball - gonna ask if my vision will ever get any better..
that's a coconut.

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