All comics by otterfiend

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by otterfiend
11-29-06
Shortly after birth, and her mothers injection, kristy gets picked up by a demon claiming to be her mother.
Mommy?
Yes, I'm mommy
The demon warps her to his home in hell...
Weeeee!
Soon it will be time
...to hand off the baby kristy to satan himself!
I have obtained the child of which you seek
Perfect

 

by otterfiend
11-29-06
Deep in the bowels of hell...
Sup?
Not much
...All converse about the new warrior of the dark lord...
Yup
You hear about the new warrior?
...while Satan is training Kristy in the ways of the Dark side
WHAAAAAA!!!!!
This may take a while...

 

by otterfiend
11-29-06
Animal Humor
How many Carrots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know
None, animals don't have any lightbulbs!
oh
I guess it would be funnier if we knew
What's a lightbulb?

 

by otterfiend
11-29-06
Anmal humor
How many Animals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know
None, Animals don't have any lightbulbs!
Oh
I guess it would be funnier if we knew
What's a light bulb?

 

by otterfiend
11-29-06
...He sure got his life tossed for a loop
Indeed
In local news a nasty murder was commited in town today
Saddly, it wasn't Colbert Nation User Kristy
...The Police are currently trying to clean up at the crimescene
Can I borrow that for my crossword puzzle when your done?

 

by otterfiend
11-29-06
Trouble at the racetrack
What do you mean I Don't win anything for that race?!? What was I doing racing then?!?
This is not the time to tell him he won me $1000

 

by otterfiend
11-29-06
Many years passed
The time has come!
Kristy had become powerful evil warrior...
You must leave here to attack the most sacred place in all the universe
I am ready master
...And she was headed to destroy all that Stephen Colbert had worked for!
Here it is, the Colbert nation

 

by otterfiend
11-30-06
Kristy joins the colbert nation...
Yes
Do you promise not to diss stephen colbert in any way?
And manages to outwit the tight security
That was easy...
Ok, you're in
Of course she had to pull something before she left the secuity station
Hmmm... Wonder what that smell is?

 

I'm sorry, but you're not my type
by otterfiend, 11-30-06

 
by otterfiend, 11-30-06

 

by otterfiend
11-30-06
What the hell are you supposed to be?
An elf
Why is that scary?
I'm a christmas symbol and christmas is taking over the holiday world by advertising earlier every year and...
Another one bites the dust...

 

by otterfiend
12-17-06
The president discovers the computer
lets try "missle comand."
he opens a program
Hey, this is a fun game! watch me bomb Iraq!
The nulear war center should get a better password...
This doesnt seem right
Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tic k Tick

 

by otterfiend
12-18-06
One day at the whitehouse...
Ahh... It sure feels good to help people...
...the president has been helping people...
Follow the signs to the left wing, and take the first door on your left
Which way to the nuclear command center?
...the WRONG type of people
What a nice man...
Mr. President! Osama has been spotted near the White House Grounds!

 

by otterfiend
12-29-06
If Jesus Had Television...
And a turnover!
NO, you morons! He should have done a fieldgoal!
Ha ha! Die TV!
The moral: TV Drains your thought
Hey... when did this happen?

 

by otterfiend
1-02-07
All ready for the party!
I have my sea wallpaper up and have dressed up my fluffle...
I hate you...
Almost makes me want it to happen sooner!
Almost makes you want to have friends

 

by otterfiend
1-21-07
In temp's bedroom...
I'll make a thread!
In shark's bedroom...
I'll reply to this thread!
In sgkonoko's lair...
Perfect...
You have 2 morons to make fun of...

 

by otterfiend
1-21-07
In temp's bedroom..
Finally! I have a comic series!
Still in temp's bedroom..
All must watch me! I am god! HAHAHA!
Upstairs...
Bwa hah ha hah ha!
My son is crazy...

 

by otterfiend
1-21-07
In an evil village...
DIE ZOMBIE!
uhhhhhh.....
In an evil village...
YAY!
In an evil village...
Damn, I died again! I guess I'll veiw the forum...

 

by otterfiend
1-21-07
In an evil village...
DIE ZOMBIE!
uhhhhhh.....
YAY!
Her room...
Damn, I died again! I guess I'll veiw the forum...

 

by otterfiend
2-17-07
We find our hero in a strange place...
Woah! Did I take too much crack again?
Or did I die and go to some heven like place?
Gerald R Ford Strikes Again!
AHH! this isn't heven!
It's me!

 

by otterfiend
2-17-07
Gerald R Ford is challenged!
I kill you!
bring it typhon!
CRAAAAP!
Next time: will typhons new zombie state help her or destroy her?
How did you do this to me?
It's the stench

 

by otterfiend
2-18-07
We now return you to the epic fight...
DIE!
NO!
NEVER DISOBEY TYPHON!
Oh crap...
Next time on colboard adventures: Gerald Does Something... The horror...
BWAHAHAHA!
I'll get you next time! The stench will overcome!

 

by otterfiend
6-03-07
Beware!
AHHHHHHHH possum!
I'm not a possum.... I'm a fire breathing bug....
thank god!!
Stupid human... I'm scary too... Sniff..

 

Litttle known fact: T. Jefferson had to write the Declaration of iIndependence twice...
Ok... Who's the wise guy who signed as Heywood Jablome?!
Hehe...
by otterfiend, 6-06-07

 

Little known fact: T. Jefferson had to write the Declaration of Independence twice...
Ok... who is the wise guy who signed as Heywood Jablome?!
Hehe...
by otterfiend, 6-06-07

 

by otterfiend
6-09-07
TRUE! very nervous I had been and am! but why will you think me mad?
HI
Yawn...
My senses ware sharpened, not dulled! Observe how calmly I re-tell the story...
Let me tell you my story...
Not caring...
Then I will prove thee wrong about myself!
It all started a few weeks ago...
Oh god....

 

by otterfiend
6-09-07
I know not how the idea first entered my mind, but once thought of, it haunted my mind at all times... I had no wish of his disfortune at any other point in my life...
You are so dead...
Morning Edgar...
The man had never done me wrong nor ventured upon insult...
You are going to die a worse death now...
I ate your breakfast, hope you don't mind...
I loved the old man but it was his eye, it drove me mad!
His eyes are waaaaaaaaaay too small.... It will make a perfect excuse...
I'm off to go pour salt on your slug collection...

 

by otterfiend
6-09-07
You should have seen me... so careful... so quiet... so sophistcated...
Hey old man....
What does twinkletoes want now?
I struck quickly! careful not to splatter blood anywhere... soon his heart stopped beating...
Wait... how did the lights turnout.... Where is that switch?
He would trouble me no more...
Umm... this might be hard to convince the cops with...

 

by otterfiend
6-09-07
I concealed him quickly... soon the police came knocking on my door...
Hello...
We have a report of a missing old man
I convinced them the old man was on holiday... We talked and talked until we made it to his room...
What happened here?
Umm... My mother in law?
Pheww... that was a close one...
I know your pain...
What a moron...

 

by otterfiend
6-09-07
We remained over the spot of where I buried the man. We talked about old stories and memories...
lovely...
...And that is how I killed a mass murderer
I soon heard a noise... it was a sound I had heard before... His heart!!! the old man's heart was loud as ever! I soon tried to make the police leave by any means possible!
Flowers?
I'm allergic to oddly gray flowers...
I could take it no longer, I.... hey! why am I a girl in this frame?!
I admit it! I killed him!
Crazy.....

 

At court I pleaded Insane! I got 2 days in jail and then left...
And thats my story! hey... he left!!
by otterfiend, 6-09-07

 

by otterfiend
8-28-07
Mr. cat plays dingdong ditch...
Hehe... Dingdong ditch is fun...
DING DONG
yes?
Swing and a miss...
umm... now what?
STOP RINGING MY DOORBELL!

 

by otterfiend
10-15-07
Kathy wanders into the hall of science...
Where am I?
You are in the hall of science!
Who are you?
I am the element, gold!
You seem rather mussed up for gold...
I was just hanging out with carbon! Give me a break!

 

by otterfiend
10-15-07
We last left our heroine in the cruel clutches of... science?
So what do you do in science?
Well... a lot of things!
WOAH! SCENE CHANGE!
We are used as wires and other parts in a computer... as well as in the St. Marks cathedral and a lot of other religious art!
But couldn't other metals be used for those purposes?
I have to give you an eyesight test... read the words below...

 

by otterfiend
10-15-07
We now return you to the lousy comic strip you were reading...
So why do people use your metal for all these things, if it would be cheaper to use silver?
We are more malleable and ductile than any other metal
What does that mean?
We can be shaped easier...
Score one for Kathy...
So you're weak?
Yeah exact... hey!

 

by otterfiend
10-15-07
We find our poorly scripted comic taking place in an office...
Now where are we?
In the Element Accounting Offices... this is where they keep track of the company electrons...
What are the accountants?
Boron
Bad pun... I'm outta here!
Well don't let the door hit you on the way out!

 

by otterfiend
11-21-07
Holidays in sparta...
Hey man, is this the whole gift?
What?
Well its kinda small...
small?
THIS... IS... PART-OF!

 

by otterfiend
1-23-08
It's time for your favorite crucified messiah: Jesus Christ!
Hi! this is Jesus here! I am here today to explain the flashback structures of 3 movies!
And here to join me is satan!
WHAT THE HELL?! HOLY CRAP?! HOW DID I GET HERE?!
I poofed you here in a ball of fire...
Wow this place sure got fixed up after I was banished...

 

by otterfiend
1-24-08
In the analysis portal of heaven...
First we will analyze Memento
What's that?
Its a movie about a guy who can't remember what just happened!
I'll kill you because my photograph had writing on it saying to do so!
What just happened?
It has an interesting Flashback Sequence
I assume there are some forgotten hidden messages involved?

 

by otterfiend
1-24-08
This is how it goes down: They play the last scene backwards and then play the first scene normally, then play the second to last scene forwards...
I see...
Half an hour later...
And play that scene forward and then they make a transition from black and white to color and it meets in the middle...
I don't understand and my brain hurts!
Try some heroin to make it clear
Ok?

 

by otterfiend
1-24-08
Ok next on the analysis agenda is... wait... who are you?
I'm Krelmen. I'm here to take notes for satan.
Ok, but don't mess things up...
umm... you are nailed to a stick... how can things get anymore messed up?
I'm no longer talking to you...
Fine, be that way

 

by otterfiend
1-24-08
Ok lets just wrap this up...
Finally!
Click a movie where a guy uses a remote to do anything he wants... flashbacks are crucial to this movie because they show how he has been influenced in his life...
Satan has a keyboard that has an "arson" key on it
That's messed up... MOVING ON! Spiderman 1 has a minor flashback in which he is reminded of his uncle's old saying...Ok I'm done! happy now?
Later, I'm off to go pour salt on your collection of snails.

 

by otterfiend
7-19-08
Today, Bobby is called to a crime scene...
As you can see, the victim was shot twice in the head...
So when do we get to shoot someone?!
Bobby is not used to working in the U.S.A.
Um... I think we don't have to worry about that...
WHY NOT?!
FACT: If Bobby sees you, and he has a gun, he will shoot you!
JUST LOOK FOR ANY SUSPICIOUS PEOPLE!
Ohhhhhh... I see! We get to shoot any suspicious people we see!

 

by otterfiend
11-20-08
So how did your project on china turn out?
If you look over there, I'll show you!
"I made a portal into the past! In you go!"
"Oops... must be stuck on Happy Amish Mode..."
If you get me out of here, I wont ask why there is a "Happy Amish Mode"...
While you are at it, GET ME OUT OF HERE TOO!

 

by otterfiend
11-20-08
"Don't complain about my work!"
I'm just saying, he didn't look very happy...
"Ok... Here we are... This is right about when the Boxer Rebellion happened."
Why was it called that?
"Did I mention the attitudes the rebels had?"
Is it possible that this is stranger than "Happy Amish Mode"?
I'll box you into oblivion!

 

by otterfiend
11-22-08
Help From Other Countries!
That should take care of them!
Fancy Dividing Technique!
What's one shot gonna do?
Impossible!
Ridiculous Play-On-Words!
Inconceivable!
Dang suppressive fire!

 

by otterfiend
11-22-08
"How are things going?"
The boxer rebellion is over, but it looks like china needs help fighting japan...
Meanwhile, in america...
Of course the U.S. will help! I can see no consequences that would occur as a result of this!
Some years later, at Pearl Harbor...
Umm... I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to be here...
You should have thought of that before you sent help to china!

 

by otterfiend
11-22-08
Over the years...
Wait... WWII is over and China is communist now? But, things will improve between china and the U.S. pretty soon, right?
During the Korean War...
The U.S. is fighting against China and North Korea, which means China should get over this communist thing soon, right?
During the Vietnam War...
YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

 

by otterfiend
11-22-08
"Wake up! The U.S. has established an ok relationship with China!"
ZZZZZZZ... Huh? Wait... What?!
"Things were normalized between the U.S. and China now, but..."
Ok, I get it... things are dandy now... But, It took long enough!
THE END
OH NO! She's yelling and will be mistaken for a protester! I can't watch!
THERE'S ONE OF THOSE STINKING PROTESTERS, RIGHT THERE! AFTER HER!

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