All comics by pitch4good3610

 

by pitch4good3610
7-16-08
I never expected being a wife would be so hard.
?
Wash dishes, vacuming the living room, feeding the kids, driving to soccer games, gardening outside, washing the laundry, and waking up at 6:00 a.m. every morning.
Blah, blah, blah. Don't complain to me. A husband has plenty of work. Like... uhh... uhhh.. i mean.. well... you know what I mean.
Did i miss something? I did not realizing that stressing over nothing to do results in turning your back to your spouse.
I never expected being a husband would result in high expectations.

 

by pitch4good3610
7-16-08
Come on in!
Knock Knock
I've missed you Richard. You're even more handsome than I remember. I love you!
I love you too, Debbie!
What the!? Are you cheating on me Debbie? Who is this punk?
That "punk" has been your brother-in-law for 20 years.

 

by pitch4good3610
7-16-08
I never expected being a wife would be so hard.
?
Washing dishes, vacuming the living room, feeding the kids, driving to soccer games, gardening outside, washing the laundry, and waking up at 6:00 a.m. every morning.
Blah, blah, blah. Don't complain to me. A husband has plenty of responsibilities. Like...uhh...uhhh..well... you know what I mean.
Did I miss something? I did not realize that stressing over nothing to do results in turning your back to your spouse.
I never expected being a husband wouldresult in high expectations.

 

by pitch4good3610
7-16-08
What's for dinner tonight, Debbie?
What are you in the mood for?
Pizza, burgers, hot dogs, pasta, chicken, steak, potatoes, soup, chili, sushi, tacos, salad, buffalo wings, nachos, french fries, onion rings, rice, beans, spaghetti . . .
?
Never mind. There's peanut butter and jelly in the cabinet. I'm taking a nap.

 

by pitch4good3610
7-16-08
Excuse me, sir. Is your name Robert?
Yes, officer.
You're under arrest. All men under the title of "Robert" are to be arrested by midnight.
This must be a joke. Did my wife, Debbie set this up or something. You must be joking. I can't be arrested. I have never broken the law!
Are you sleep talking again? I told you to take your pills before you go to bed!
Am I under arrest for not taking my pills!? Wait a second. I take pills?

 

by pitch4good3610
7-22-08
20 years earlier...
Hey.. um. are you doing anything after work?
Actually, no. Why?
Oh, no nothing. I just wanted to know if you wanted to see a movie.
That sounds fun.
Back to the present...
.........
That was the last time we actually had a meaningful conversation.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
This is it, Robert. Sales and Associates' new office location.
I was expecting better, Mr. Wilson.
I'll ask you yet again, Robert. Do you accept to work for Sales and Associates? It will be a fresh start considering we're in a new building.
Listen, Mr. Wilson. You're a nice guy and everything but I just can't do this. The company is unprofessional and the work is pointless.
But Robert, we're highly considering installing a water jug. And guess what!? Employees get free water!

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
I guess Robert was right. We are somewhat unprofessional. This bathroom is disgusting.
We never even had a janitor at our old location . . .
I could make a good janitor!
Who are you?
The name's Willy. I'll give you $50 if you hire me.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Good evening, Charlie. How is your first day of work in the new building going?
Eh, not so good. First, I realized that I lost my position as vice-president. Then, I vomitted after observing the bathroom.
Ah yes, the bathroom. That is a work in progress. Some man named Willy actually paid me to hire him. He will clean the bathroom.
He paid you, Mr. Wilson? What kind of a stupid idiot would pay someone to do hard work and labor?
That would be me.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Charlie? What happened to you?
Our new janitor, Willy, attacked me. I called him a stupid idiot so he immediately took me to the ground.
Good story. Well anyway, I just cleaned out your office. Since you were demoted, you'll be working in a cubicle again.
That's just great. First, I get demoted. Then, I throw up. Then I get beat up by a janitor. Now, I work in a cubicle again. Can it get any worse?
Mr Wilson! When you see Charlie, can you tell him I vacuumed his paycheck off the ground? I tried to get it out of the vacuum but it was ripped into pieces. It was a complete accident, sir.
What!?

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Good evening, Mr. Wilson. The new salesman we've been waiting for is here.
Alright. Thanks, Gregg. I'll go welcome him.
Well, Hello! You must be the new salesman. What's your name, sir?
...................
Alrighty then. Is there something you would like to say? You seem a bit......... quiet.
You have quite a uniqe janitor. And one of your workers is walking around with a black eye and bloody nose. I don't think this job is for me.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
How'd it go?
Not so good. Charlie and Willy don't know how to make proper first impressions. Just watch their behavior and you'll see what I mean.
I never thought burning a toilet would be so much fun. Maybe this will take the bad odor away too!
I just lost a 700 dollars pay check. Why am I talking to myself?

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Charlie! I have a job for you.
What is it?
Nothing to major, just rearranging some papers in the stockroom.
How many hours will it take?
Eh, maybe a few days.
You must be joking.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
I apologize about the fire in the bathroom, Mr. Wilson.
Apology accepted, Willy. I appreciate your awareness of your wrong doing.
Is everyone in the office going to hate me now?
Of course not, Willy. It was a simple mistake.
So I heard Willy lit the bathroom on fire. The last thing we need around here is another idiot who has no clue what they are doing.
My physical condition is another result of Willy's actions.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Hey Dex! What are you up to?
Oh hey, Gregg! Right now I am actually fantasizing about Star Wars.
My brother was actually an extra in the original Star Wars movie.
What!?
It's true. I think they even list his name in the credits.
Does he know Darth Vader personally?

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Mr. Hughs! I want to talk to you about Charlie being demoted.
The process is complete, Larry. In fact, Charlie is back in a cubicle again.
It's about time we got that guy out of such an important position! Over the past two years, he's been beat up mentally. It really goes to show, physcially.
Um... turn around, Larry.
Does my mental weariness really show on the outside?

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Mr. Wilson is on lunch break, so he told me to temporarily manage the office.
Well lucky you! It's not much of a surprise. Mr. Wilson only picked up because you look proffesional.
What do you mean?
Well, you've got the coffee in one hand, a clean tie, and you're the assisant manager of the office.
Good point!
Maybe I should start bringing a coffee mug to work everyday. Never mind. I don't have any room in my briefcase. My star wars action figures take up too much room.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
During lunch break, I was really brainstorming. I realized some changes that had to be made around the office.
Yea, and?
Just telling you to spread the word. There's going to be some changes around here.
Yes, sir.
Go carve on a bathroom stall: "There's going to be some changes around here." -Mr. Wilson
Yes, sir.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Change #1
Charlie, you've been walking around bruised and bleeding for too long.
What are you saying, Mr. Wilson?
You should go home, get cleaned up, and then treat yourself to an iced coffee.
Sounds good, Mr. Wilson.
Charlie always finds a way to obtain unluckiness. Nothing ever goes his way. Hopefully he won't cause an 18 car pile-up on the way home.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Change #2
I'm really sorry about what happened the other day. Two of my workers were really acting up.
............
Don't say anything if you want the job.
............
Youre' hired!
.............

 

by pitch4good3610
8-08-08
Change #3
We really need a security guard at watch for our office.
Hours later . . .
Thanks for calling "Cops for Hire". I think I'll be staying here at your office for a while.
Well thank you, officer. We're normally don't have too much trouble around here. We just wanted a cop for security purposes and all, you know?
Right, right. Hey... do you guys have doughnuts around here?

 

by pitch4good3610
8-09-08
Are you a Star Wars fan?
..............
Please tell me you are!
I... I.... uhh... I.....
Never mind. We already lack the sufficient amount of Star Wars fans in this office. Every time I take out my action figures, people look at me like it's my hobby. It's not my hobby... it's my life.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-09-08
Good afternoon, Mr. Wilson.
Charlie! You look like a new man.
Yea, I feel good as new. But anyway, do you know where Willy is? I'd like to have a word with him.
Easy there, Charlie. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but I'm assuming you want revenge.
I was thinking of it more as delayed self-defence.

 

by pitch4good3610
8-09-08

 

by pitch4good3610
8-09-08
Have you reconsidered the job, Robert?
No.
Why?
I hear about your office in the paper. An innocent man came in to get a job. He reported a man setting a bathroom to flames and another man walking around in severe medical condition.
Long story.
No it's not. The story only took up one column in the newspaper. Your office is infamous.

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