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| I AM GOING TO INVEST IN BEANIE BABIES AND RETIRE!!! | |
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| MY CALCULATIONS SHOW THAT YOU WOULD EARN APPROXIMATELY $0.02 YOUR FIRST DAY. | |
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| WHAT? NO, NO...THERE'S A HUGE MARKET OUT THERE FOR BEANIES. THEY'RE LIKE MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS CHRIST! | |
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| THIS IS UNTRUE. MY STUDIES SHOW NOT EVEN WHITE TRASH ARE BUYING INTO BEANIES AS THEY ONCE WERE. | |
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| DAMN, WHY CAN'T A GOOD, DIM-WITTED CONSUMER FAD STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO MAKE A BUCK? | |
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| IT IS HARD TO PREDICT THE STUPIDITY OF THE MASSES. MY COUSIN, THE XL250, FRIED HIS MOTHERBOARD ONCE ATTEMPTING SUCH A FEAT. I PERSONALLY THINK WE NEED TO BRING BACK THE PET ROCK. | |
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