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| Dear Santa, Judging from your lack of response, you didn't like my previous offer. Perhaps you were offended by the events at my house last year. | |
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| I hope you have healed from any burns inflicted by the flamethrower mounted in the fireplace. I can also send back the boot you left behind in the vicious leg-trap. | |
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| Any resemblance to the Cinderella story must end there. Yours sincerely. | |
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