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| Masturbation is the leading cause of blindness in young men. | |
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| Granddad jerks off to Playboy all the time and he's still got his vision. | |
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| The only decent position for coitus is the missionary position. | |
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| What happens if your lady's a bitch and wants to do it doggy-style? | |
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| Intercourse between men and men, and women and women, has been forbidden. It is unnatural and sinful. | |
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