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| The house will burn down any day from our faulty electrical wiring. | |
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| And we're on our second mortgage to pay off the plumbing before the house collapses from water damage. | |
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| But what we REALLY needed was a four-hundred-dollar foozball table. So we bought one. | |
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| That's one of the wisest moves we've made in a long time. | |
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