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He'd play touch football with the "Nuclear Football"
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| Hail Mary pass. I'll go long. | |
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| I keep telling you, sir: I'm not a Secret Service Agent; I'm just a tourist. | |
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At least once a week, he'd lock himself out of the White House
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| Now which one of these bricks did I hide the key in? | |
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He'd bomb parts of his own country instead of other ones
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| Okay, I can understand when he nuked Redmond, but why did he do this to New Jersey? | |
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| Um, he didn't. We weren't going to attack Jersey 'til next week. | |
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