All comics by ratguts

Profile

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
you are asian. fagfuck.
you are straight edge. nazi.
go back to asian land
how do you get so strong?
ginseng!
winner is me

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
i was in the sex pistols. i am punk rock.
have you done anything for the scene?
we are re-forming this year to show the kids what punk is really about. tickets will be 75 dollars.
my band plays shows for 5 buvks or less
poser.
dried up old man.

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
i am skinpack. hear me roar.
oh lord...
my metal and rust will eat your head, fagbot.
seriously, give it up.
sorry, i get carried away sometimes...
so do my followers. let's dance.

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
hey hippie. want to join my band? a hippie in a punk band! OH DEAR GOD, THE SCANDAL!!!
i was in the uglies. calgary's best punk band ever.
we are called the motherfuckers for various reasons.
i was in the uglies. calgary's best punk band ever.
my cock is pierced.
can i have your beer, smokes, rum, etc?

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
there were no calgary bands at NXNE. we are not even a blip on the canadian independent scene. i smell a rat.
who cares?
people who care about independent music, you apathetic asshole
ever think that no bands from calgary applied?
shut up.
where's your conspiracy theory now, oliver stone?

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
I AM SCOTT D!!
you look familiar
I AM SCOTT D!!
wait, you were in the oldsk00lerz and redshit!
I AM SCOTT D!!
shut up ben

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
dialogue here.
response here.
rebuttal
wit.
shame.
make fun of ben here.

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
AVRIL SUCJKSASSRDZZFK
why do you care?
AVRIL SUCJKSASSRDZZFK
rich punk
AVRIL SUCJKSASSRDZZFK
flame war!!!

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
hi. we are hope. we sing about girls and cheese.
one time i ate cat food.

 

by ratguts
5-10-03
ben told me to.
shut up you fucking dolt
shut up you fucking dolt
shut up you fucking dolt
shut up you fucking dolt
shut up you fucking dolt
shut up you fucking dolt

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
hey faggot. get away from my college campus. you are dirtying up SAIT.
but homosexuality is love
faggot. you fuck guys in the shitter. gross. i only have sex with chicks, because that is nature's intention. [also: shooting deer with big powerful weapons!]
hey steve-o, haven't i seen you somewhere before?
two hours prior at Bar Hott...
HEY HOTTIE! LET ME BE YOUR CAPTAIN HOOK!!!!!

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
YOU ARE A FASCIST REGIME
ha!
you must go to alternative high school and listen to slipknot.

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
once upon the cross...
so i was listening to The Cramps the other day...
!!!!

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
my girlfriend dumped me.
i guess i'm not so upset about her leaving me...
and i was going to ask him for some nuts...
i just wish she could have had the decency to let me keep my penis.

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
okay, see here. i'm looking for something of value to give to my mother.
hello? assistance please...
hmmm... i must be at an all ages show.

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
hello little girl. can you help me fix my pants?
um, what's wrong with 'em?
i have a big rod stuck in there
they don't call me the jaws of life for nothing...
OK OK, THIS IS GOING TOO FAR. ENOUGH! ACHTUNG! NO MORE!!!

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
Lord? I want to get a new Acura, but I want to consult You first. Please give me a sign...
CARS POLLUTE THE EARTH, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. HANG YOURSELF NOW.
Let it be, Lord.

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
I AM YOUR NIGHTMARES AND FEARS
really? ahh shit...
wait a minute. you look nothing like a mortician's dog running away with my femur.

 

by ratguts
5-20-03
you're all Chameleons conforming to the cruel standards of society
ha!
nice GAP sweater.

 

by ratguts
5-25-03
buhh. why do you hate white people?
it's not that i dislike white people, it has to do with the fact that white culture (especially white american male dominated culture) has had more than a lending hand in the devalue of other cultures
accompanied by the fact that capitalism in its present form is a white-dominated system, and is racist and classist in its essense. we're all slaves under the system, yet most white people...
...refuse to acknowledge this, since mainstream media has done a good job of brainwashing society into believing that this is the ultimate way to live: with blood on our hands.
uhh... go back to africa
go back to europe.

 

by ratguts
6-04-03
dicks and whites
COCK PLEASE
nigger nigger etc
dead rappers and dick
TUPAC LIVES [ALSO: COCK]
fag fag fag [I KILLED B.I.G.]
dick dick dick dick [puff daddy]
CANADIAN PATRIOT EATS DICKS AND PEE
i'll jump his bones any day. [wonder where the fag club is]

 

by ratguts
6-05-03
so we're going down...
kinda makes ya think, doesn't it?
sometimes i really hate my job
...if only i was Catholic.

 

by ratguts
6-05-03
my weekly sheet looks nice
like an official document
well, it is one
oh yeah.
we really should choke on cock and die, right?
ARRGLE BARRGLE

 

by ratguts
6-15-03
you're under arrest. too much dickin' in the chicken
damn, i was thinking i could go for popcorn chicken from kentucky fried cock
come to gaol where the dickings are free [with happy meals, too]
in america, it's spelled "jail"
fucking george washington are we now?
spicy McAnus

 

by ratguts
6-15-03
trick or beats
i have cookies. they are good for the soul
fucking aryan, i said trick or beats.
but-but cookies and souls!
PORN ON YOUR HUSBAND'S COMPUTER!!
that's my dad and my husband. i made 800 dollars from it.

 

by ratguts
6-15-03
why must people protest the stampede? IT'S A TRADITION AND SHIT.
would you let me ride you and whip you, and zap you with electricity, while calling you "boy" and "silver"?
...
yes
COWBOYS ARE INTO S&M. HOLY CHRISTPUNCH!!

 

by ratguts
6-15-03
DEAR MAXIMUMROCKNROLL: YOU ARE BAD MEANIES BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIKE MY FRIEND'S RECORD! I HATE YOU AND I HOPE ARWEN CURRY SUFFERS THE SAME AS TIM YOHANNAN DID!
SIGNED, LARRY LIVERMORE
Dear Larry: Punk Planet licks every ball known to man. Sincerely, George Tabb and Mykel Board.

 

by ratguts
6-15-03
THIS MAN IS THINKING OF XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS IN A LESS-THAN-CHRISTIAN WAY
my pants are wet/sticky, etc.

 

by ratguts
6-15-03
so i was on alt.fucking.nerd.core.dude and these dudes were all like "you have a DSL cable line with dicks running behind you? wowee!!!"
and the nerds started to spray nerd juice in my lunch, and the librarian got horny in the graveyard
brad was clearly bored to death
wait- that was "PEARL HARBOUR 2: EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING"
CLEARLY BORED TO DEATH!

 

by ratguts
6-22-03
you have a fucking diaryland diary, you fag
shhh shhh shhh.
what, you emo! yeah! take hat! [*THAT]
but... i already have hat!
you have hat? say away from me! that's worse than the clap!
i had that last week. hulaghlaghlaghlaghlagh

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
how much is it to rent out bridgeland???
WHERE COCK CAN BE FOUND??
whats the price, and whats the damage deposit
DICK LICKING FOR 8 HALF PENCE??!!
well, i guess it depends on the value of each individual piece of property, and how much the owners will let you rent them for. i'm guessing that to rent the entire community at once, it will cost you
EASILY 50 million or more [per month]. i mean, the property that used to be the General Hospital ALONE is worth 10 million. if that's too much for you, just rent the bakery and italian grocery store..

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
are you blushing damien? or did you just read that, and put down any old response?
blush blush
[urine filling my pantaloons]
that's better.
STINGING YOU ON THE COCK

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
carl has an announcement for you Christian punks
Yo Punks! Come one, come all to the punk night this thursday June 26th. Not exactly all punk, but great bands none-the-less. Bands performing include:
The Inevitable, 6 Point One, God Omen and a few new-comer bands including my band as well, Ethos Ether. It looks to be quite an enlightening show, so tell anyone who will listen.
Show @ Harvest Hills Alliance Church. (I know its sounds a little whack having a show at a church.....but, hey! what the hell! (no pun intended) )
Come bathe in the holy water
but...god hates punk, doesn't he?
NO. JUST POSERS.

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
k well here's a question (it's corny and all tho, but i still would liek to hear ur answers).
wher cn i find the cock? if u can find me sum, that'd b so kewl. LOL k??????
all of a sudden, God comes along and... [SHE WAS CLEARLY CRUSHED LIKE A FUCKING ANT]
OMG!!!!

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
God hates morons. he really does.
This is totally a ploy for attention, but it's my birthday.
its my birthdya too. wat a popular day ot be born
God: JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING DICKS

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
you're having sex? while on msn? what's sally-anne think of that?
errm, too damn quick... story of my life. awww. [http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=ratguts&ID=154328]
i like the ones about me. cause i am the center of attention
oh, it's ALL about you, isn't it??! egomaniac. [http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=ratguts&ID=154330]
haha..?
ehh, running out of steam... [AKA: JUICE IN THE DONG-COCK]

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
one day online...
look, a rancid video to rock out to/beat off to
clearly, Tim Armstrong has morphed into my ex-girlfriend fuckng a raver slag. I CLEARLY WANT TO GET SKULLFUCKED RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF THIS!!!!

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
SHE DID IT TO ME, I SWEAR TO SPIGOT!
SHE DID IT TO ME, I SWEAR TO SPIGOT!
WELL I OUGHTTA!
to be continued...
gagagagagagalagh
you chock on that cock. how many crackers can you fit in your mouth?

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
when we last saw our heroes...
dicks
you chock on that cock. how many crackers can you fit in your mouth?
DICK SUBSTITUTES TO GET MY MIND OFF THE CUMMING
EEEEWWWWWWWWW! you have just crossed a line. this is turning into a comic isn't it...
\\\continued///
took ya long enough
well, i was reading diaries, and then started writing an entry. i am sorry, fag.

 

by ratguts
6-25-03
we now return to the miniseries at hand
damn right yer sorry
fuck you, assfuck.
i sense a miniseries coming on here.
oh no! not a mini-series
THE END
yes! like that gay rip-off of the Shining from 10 years ago. The Shining: the miniseries. NEXT ON ABC!!
never seen it... thank fucking god! [NOW WHERE'S THAT PEDRO? I NEED DICKING]

 

by ratguts
7-18-03
TIME TO WHIP MY DICK OUT AT THE DAYCARE CENTER
DURR, RUNNING AROUND WITH WANG IN THE AIR
THIS IS CLEARLY WHY I JOINED THE CLERGY

 

by ratguts
7-18-03
so... guess we shouldn't have pissed on the Pope's picture, eh?
...
...
dude, it was totally worth it.

 

by ratguts
7-23-03
I DONT KNOW...
there is no penis
I THINK YOUR DICK IS CROOKED
to be continued...
ALL THE WANG IN THE WORLD CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW
are you sensing a recurring theme?

 

by ratguts
7-23-03
part two...
i think the creator is ripping off our bit
fuck off, john f. kennedy
that consumer whore. fucking bownesians
NOT JEWISH HERE!! CAN I JOIN YOUR ARYAN WONDERLAND?
to be continued...
no.
oh fuck, the miniseries continues...

 

by ratguts
7-23-03
hurr, nothing to do with the miniseries.
i am bubba of the Bownesians [USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS, PEOPLE!!
i am from Bownesia, Grande Lawnshark
i ate my dog's piss in a cake.
the end.
hurr, nothing to do with the miniseries.
join Bownesia. only 500 dollars [payable only in American silver 1/2 dollars, circa 1964]

 

by ratguts
7-23-03
Hello, I am Damien, the consumer whore!
And how!
I eat cock with a spoon!
Not again!
Why you never leave your account logged on while Jordan's around
omg rofl lololololol
//enable.cheats //mass_spawn=Hooker

 

by ratguts
7-28-03
HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS, ETC
santa, i have a beef...
yeah, whaddaya want?
i wanted a pony for christmas, but you gave me cancer
...have a candycane
the one in your pants?

 

by ratguts
8-13-03
FOX has lost its edge.

 

by ratguts
8-13-03

 

by ratguts
9-08-03
On the first day of March it was raining/It was raining worse than anything that I have ever seen/I drank ten pints of beer and I cursed all the people there
And I wish that all this raining would stop falling down on me
And it's lend me ten pounds, I'll buy you a drink
And mother wake me early in the morning
At the time I was working for a landlord/And he was the meanest bastard that you have ever seen/And to lose a single penny would grieve him awful sore
And he was a miserable bollocks and a bitch's bastard's whore

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