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| Alright! "Kung-Fu Grasshopper Ninja Hippies From East Texas" is on! | |
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| This week's episode of "Kung-Fu Grasshopper Ninja Hippies From East Texas" will be pre-empted, for this message from the president. | |
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| Oh no! Damn you, President! | |
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| My fellow Americans, our nation is...*bzzt* | |
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..And this is why Mitten shouldn't be left alone to watch TV.
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| Holy shit, the President is a robot! I hope Cyborg Dinosaur Abe Lincoln can defeat him, armed only with Febreze! | |
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| We are having technical difficulties. Please stand by. | |
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