All comics by rioohki

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by rioohki
6-13-02
No dog food for me tonight, ROCK OUT !
Spillage in aisle 3. Someone to aisle 3 please

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Are you QUITE sure you belong here?
Lets just say Mother Teresa better have packed her Sunscreen
That's good, the bitch knocked me back for a blow-job

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Now Miss Teresa. I know this may take some getting used to...
Ummm, do you want a blow job?
Nice try bitch. You hurt that preist so badly. You deserve to burn in agony
bugger.
besides, that priest gave better blowjobs than you ever could.

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Ah good, the pyros are working
FA-WOOSH !
Why the fuck must it go off every time I fart?

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
I'm very sorry. I'll put in some effort for my next one. I promise, just leave me alone, I've tried so hard to get a job, NO ON WANTS MEEEE THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO END IT ALL GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD AIIEE!
it was wrinkly

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
You wouldn't say I looked like a hammer killer would you
I woulnd'nt say so, no. Why?
Hey, It's not my fault the writer is a lazy cunt.
I should have seen that coming, shouldn't I

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
morning
morning
Oh my god, he talked to me, he knows I exist. If only he knew how much I love him. I just want to be in his arms
Pandas are fluffy

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
And now, what you've all bought tickets for...
HAMMER TIME !
Yeah, Can't touch dis, it's private, yeah
Scott apologises for this joke wholeheartedly. He is truely sorry for his crimes and wishes to put this all behind him.

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
God has released this statement in regard to the last comic - My wrath will rain down on your house and drag you to the bowels of hell. Thanks - God
Well I'm only the messenger, at least I'm safe, thank god.
Fuck you.

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
FUCK IT !

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Who, or what the FUCK are you?
I'm Scott. I'm here with my Lawyers over this whole "Hammer Time" Business
and?
My lawyer is wearing a pin-striped suit, a hat, a violin case and his name is "Al"
Fuck you, dress wearing hippy
and just WHO did he nail to a plank of wood? I rest my case.

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Look - I have as much right as anyone else to make shitty jokes and blasphemous comments, so fuck you God !
Oh that's ok, I know you can say what you want about me. I am all forgiving
Well.....fine then. Actually I'm sorry, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Can we be friends, I don't want to hold a grudge
Well, I said I wouldn't do anything
You really are a bitch arent you?
Never said anything about my millions of followers though. If they murder you, well, I'm all forgiving remember

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
It's me, Scott.
As you an see, God lied, and turned me into a one eared rabbit. Fucker
So...HunGry.....Must....HavE...MeAt...
Aw Fuck, not YOU again !

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
I think I'll be safe in here
.....
Bollocks
*cough

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Who the hell are you
I'm a viewer of one of your comics. I laughed so much my jaw locked. Now I'm out for revenge
I have no time for compulsive liars, fuck off, I'm getting outta here
I also have the world's largest penis

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Aw Christ what the fuck have I been turned into now
bitch
This couldn't get any worse, could it?

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
aw fuck - only in my mind could a squirell run onto a comedy club stage and be expected to perform
.......
COULD YOU AT LEAST LOWER THE FUCKING MIKE STAND?!?!?!
We've heard it, you suck !

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Christ, I thought I dealt with you, what the fuck do you want now?
Look. I'm sorry about what i said. I promise never to tell MC HAMMER jokes again. Please just change me back, I've suffered enough
Oh very well, if you'll JUST FUCK OFF !
I'd like to think that being all knowing would give me an idea of what's funny yes.
you really think you're a funny fucker, don'tcha?

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
It took a while, but after much reasoning and a few "Favours", I got my real body back
How long have I been away, what happened, is this the future? Has World war 3 happened?...Everyone I've ever loved, GONE, in the flash of a nuclear fire *sob
aw fuck, this means I'm in Japan
calm down mate. It's just the english football fans again

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
...and that's how I became a one ear'd rabbit.
You're telling me God turned you into a Rabbit, Squirell and Walrus because you made a really bad MC HAMMER joke
.....
There's no fucking way you're getting on the plane now
bollocks

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
I managed to hide in the luggage compartment of a livestock aircraft
Dude shut the fuck u... oh wait, I said that
eh?
*cough
Don't they kill you before transportation?
SHUT UP, I RUN THIS FUCKING COMPARTMENT. BEND THE FUCK OVER BITCH !

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
aahhh - help me ! !
I'LL FUCK YO ASS UP PUNK, FUCKING SHOWER-RAPE YOU ASS
Suddenly, the roof of the plane was ripped off ! !
what the fuck?
uhh, sqauwk?
"FEEZE - FBI!"
bugger
yeah

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Thanks a fucking bunch now I'm in jail, and now have an asshole big enough to be violated. Thank you very much god
"SHOWERS IN FIVE MINUTES"
well at least I'm not worried about the showers anymore
That's it, I'm converting to Bhuddism

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
Shhhhh - I'm on the run, I escaped from prison
not even god can stop me now
You have no idea what kind of position this puts me in. God, you bastard

 

by rioohki
6-13-02
I can see your willy
trust me bitch, it's the only one you'll ever see in your life

 

by rioohki
6-14-02
Weren't you a small asian girl a second ago?
This is your brain's way of telling you no more crack

 

by rioohki
6-14-02
Now, to stun and excite my audience with my superior wit
My experience and natural talent will have this audience in stiches, as will my intelligence and witty social commentary, oh well, here goes
Tits

 

by rioohki
7-01-02
Due to the explicit and unfunny content of you comics, you will now be killed. Please wait for our operative to come and kill you
If I'm gonna die, I'M GONNA DO IT

 

by rioohki
7-01-02
I am a troll, I EAT GOATS. NO-ONE MAY PASS
I could go for a goat burger
You're gonna swallow what i give ya
should i just get on my knees and unzip now?

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