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| When I'm emperor, the first thing I'm going to do will be to change all of the messages on every crosswalk signal. | |
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| Why would you want to do that? | |
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| Well, for example, instead of "Don't walk," which pretty much nobody ever obeys anyway, I'd change it to "Sit your fat ass down." | |
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| Only you could find a way to combat both obesity and traffic congestion in one stroke. | |
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| And I'd change the "Walk" signal to read "What are you fucking waiting for, you dumb bitch? Run like hell!" | |
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| And if you only had it on the green lights, you could also help combat overpopulation! | |
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