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| Once again, I have stumbled into an actual romantic relationship. | |
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| I'm not sure buying all of your alcoholic beverages from the same cute Irish bartender counts as a "relationship." | |
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| No, this is real! But she is disturbingly normal for a girl I met through online dating. She's nice and never bitchy. | |
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| You're going to take this opportunity to complain about it anyway, despite the fact that it's going well, aren't you? | |
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| I'm just baffled by the notion of a girl who only wants to give blowjobs all the time. Am I in an alternate universe? | |
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| You're an idiot. A lucky idiot, who is probably low on blood sugar due to receiving constant oral pleasure. | |
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