All comics by stunning

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by stunning
4-20-04
the start of this mission is based on a location not unfamiliar to earths african plains...well, actually its completely different, but lets not dwell on that...ok?
oohhh, a vampire cowboy. He has no shadow
little does the world know that in the midst of the populace, lurked a vampire cowboy
horse? where?
Here horsey horsey
a very confused cowboy person who needs to take time out to think if this is where he is supposed to be...
Oh, me! I'm not a horse cowboy vampire person, but I do have an STD
Yes, I see that now. I was blinded by your tattoo. Where is my horse?

 

by stunning
4-20-04
you know Roger, the last time I looked straight into the sun, something funny happend inside my head...
You don't say...
Yea actually, I do. Like something just clicked into place. The funny thing is...
...and as emilou turns around and gazes into Rogers eyes...
Everyone I tell this story to, bursts into flames...Roger? Roger?? Ahh, crap...
AAAAGgghhhh!!!!

 

by stunning
4-20-04
See that person sitting there looking at us?
...Yes?
Why do you think they are still sitting their looking at us?
Oh silly! Reason they sit there with blank look on face is because they are thinking...
Thinking of what?
Thinking of how to replace our spooky asses. Get us off this strip as soon as possble...

 

by stunning
4-21-04
brrringgg.....brrringgg...brrringgg...
brrringgg.....brrringgg...brrringgg...
brrringgg.....brrringgg...brrringgg...
...will someone get that please?...

 

by stunning
4-21-04
we will fight to the death compadre
can't we just shake hands?
Why is your hand out amigo?
ahhh...yessss! Why do YOU have your hand out?
Very well, kimosabe! We shall meet in the Pit Of Battle
can't we just shake hands?

 

by stunning
4-21-04
ooohhhh...I don't feel so good....
shut up ya whingin...
No, really...I feel sick....
...overpaid, demanding, cartoons...Geez...The things I do for a crust
ooohhhhh...thats better...

 

by stunning
4-21-04
Question...
Whats that smell?
Realisation...
something's burning...
Accept
oh well...

 

by stunning
4-21-04
...It was Saturday...The mailman had just been and delivered a letter...which Fred opened with a letter opener...which John just happened to have on his person
Its from aunty John...
Whats that down there on the floor? Whos Aunty John?
The letter was from Johns Aunty
No, John...It was from Aunty
Oh, I see...Can I read the letter Fred?
What has become of John?
Sorry, I ate it...?? John?
John? Wheres Aunty, Fred?

 

by stunning
4-21-04
your an interesting looking fellow...
Yes, I am. Did you know I have feet for ears, and that I walk on my hands?
Really?...
Seen my horse?
No I haven't...Seen my ass?...It fell off somewhere...and I've lost it.

 

by stunning
4-21-04
The cowboy with no shadow wanders around the forest looking for his trusty steed...
Hey! Old woman!
?
Seen my horse...?
Horse? No, sonny, I havent seen a horse in SUCH a long time...Why don't you come back to my digs so I can show you my new shiny stirrups...
oh well...

 

by stunning
4-22-04
Fred! The crystal-ion warp drives have completely melted down...and some madman has left the toaster on...
I am afraid Fred is not here...
Who are you?
My name is unimportant earthling. But I am afraid that existence, as you know it, has reached its conclusion.!! There is a higher purpose in need of the space that you currently occupy
ahh, yes...a MUCH higher purpose...

 

by stunning
4-22-04
*ahem...*
I don't see dinner on the table...

 

by stunning
4-22-04
the saga continues...
You in there horse..?
...you're not a horse...MY GOD!! you have...
Yea, yea, I know...listen...have you seen my ass? It fell off somewhere...and now I can't find it ...

 

by stunning
4-22-04
Hello little girl. What is your name?...
My mommy told me not to talk to strangers.
Thats good advice. Where is your mommy? I have to congratulate her on her excellent child rearing skills.
...in one ear and out the other. So typical of super heroes...
Very well little girl. I must away and save the world from dirty deeds done dirt cheap.
...lame...

 

by stunning
4-23-04
...in reality
Look, I really appreciate you turning me into a babe, you know, it was probably the best thing you have ever done, but...
If you think for one miunute I'm going to run around after your butt-ugly frame, you got another think coming...
But you are woman. It is your duty... Wait!! What are you doing...? I'm getting some bad vibes off you...
If I concentrate really hard...
...YES!!...excellent thinking girl. Now that its been proven we don't need men to exist... Lets start a quilt club!!...

 

by stunning
4-23-04
...OW...
...OW...
A nail gun might be quicker...
I'm looking for my horse...

 

by stunning
4-23-04
quit eyeballing me...

 

by stunning
4-28-04
In the valley of the Doomed, Sally bumped into...
I am death and destruction...
Hello Death and Destruction.
Look around you Mortal One, and feed on the fear and mayhem that follow in my wake...
Does your mum know you're out this late?...
no

 

by stunning
4-28-04
..Still in the valley of the Doomed...
Well, don't you think yoiu ought to be getting home before your mum starts to worry?
I don't need to tell my mummy where I am...I'm Death and Destruction for Christs sake!
Excuse me. I couldn't help but overhear your slur on the Good name of our Lord, the almighty and great Jesus Christ?...
oh, jesus!
You must repent! On your knees and beg for salvation sinner, lest the almighty one doth smite you blind and cripple your soul with his wrath!...
mmmm...Where did Sally go?

 

by stunning
4-28-04
...still in the valley of the Doomed....
Are you even listening to me Sinner?
...ahh crap
That wasn't very nice Mr Death and Destruction. He was a man of the cloth and as such, should not have been turned into a red smear.
ahh jesus. Why can't people just leave me alone to roam the streets of death in peace?

 

by stunning
4-28-04
In the valley of Doom, the question is asked....
Anyway, if you like, we can go back to my place andd get up to mischief
I am Death and Destruction, I have enough mischief in my life to last an eternity. What sort of mischief did you have in mind?
That would be telling...
So you think I am just going to go to a strange persons house for the hell of it?
Well, if you don't want to...I will understand...*sniff*
ahh, crap. The big guilt trip. I'm going home to mummy. The valley of Doom is not all its cracked up to be...

 

by stunning
4-29-04
It was 3:15pm on Friday afternoon at the local watercooler in the middle of nowhere
Hey duck
look at the eyes, look at the eyes...
Smithy gave me a Saturday detention man. Busted me jackin the sounds from his jeep out the front...
He laid a D on yo fo that?
oh, yea...and I lifted his wallet, kicked his jewels, gouged his eyes, kungfu'd his ass, and reversed his jeep over him for good measure...
the eyes, the eyes, look at the EYES!

 

by stunning
4-30-04
in the middle of the universe, inter-planetary communications take place when Gran is suddenly wrenched from her reality and transplanted to the surface of...
Welcome to the planet, Waystovspayc, earth creature
What the fuck??
I am Morwaystovspayc, I am what your primitive race on earth would call a God. For that reason, you are now my minion and shall do my bidding
You sure are a butt ugly motherfather
Relations however, quickly soured between the two nations...
I can vaporise your ass in a nanosecond...

 

by stunning
3-27-05
Wendy the Wiley witch casts a spell...
Well, I think I can safely say that that spell didn't go as planned
Oh really?...And what was your first clue?
Are you trying to be funny?
Do I look like I'm laughing?
Well, no. Sorry bout that. Now, wheres my cuppa tea?
I think am going to detonate

 

by stunning
3-27-05
You are in my power earthduck...My wish is your command. Now go up to that house and ask the resident humanoid for some...
...matches...

 

by stunning
3-27-05
You know George, taking out your stress on the environment is not going to make things any better for you.
shut up
You have to deal with your problems in a constructive way, George
shut up
You need to accept that one must make hard decis...George? George? What are you doing?
My name is not George. Your pseudo psycho babble has convinced me that the meaning to life is NOT 42.

 

by stunning
7-24-05
yahoo!! I won the auction...I am so looking forward to putting that sticker on my motorcycle helmet.
Thanks for paying for the reflective yamaha decal and shipping really promptly. Give me 3 days to clear your deposit and 4 days to put the decal in an envelope and send it to you.
7 days eh? I won a similar auction two days ago, and I have the sticker already. Well, i have questioned the outlandish delivery times with him, perhaps he will send it sooner.
5 days later...
hey dude. Just wondering if you have sent the decal yet?
I made it quite clear it would take 7 days to send ok? If you werent prepared to wait, you should have said. Sorry your expectations have not been met. Send it back and I'll refund you (less postage).
7 days later..
Hang on! All i asked was if you had sent it. I didnt ask for a refund, and how can I be unhappy with something I dont have? Have you actually sent the decal yet?
Can't you read. I said send it back if you are not happy with the decal...and I'll refund your money. This will be my last e-mail as I have better things to do.

 

by stunning
7-24-05
8 days later...
You havent actually sent the decal have you?
If I keep on ignoring him, he will go away...i'll have his lovely $8 and he'll have nothing.
9 days later...
Guess what? its friday, 9 days since you got my cash. The posties been and still nothing from you. What are you going to do about it?
Look! I've had enough of you pestering me. Give me your fucking bank account details and I'll refund your money. (less postage)
10 days later...
Yea right. Like I'm going to give you my bank account number. Why can't you just send me the decal I paid for? I see you have another one listed. Send me that one! Are you there? Hello?
...and that is the last we have heard from this trader. He has the $8 and thats all that matters now.

 

by stunning
7-24-05
A bidder accepts the offer of $150 for the shed door painting.
Thanks for accepting the offer on the painting. Heres my bank account details. Once the funds are cleared, I'll ship the painting. As your local, I'll even hand deliver it for you.
errrm. I only accepted the offer because I wanted to tell you that the painting looked like my grannies back door in South America, and this was the only way I could do it. Thanks
4 days later...
Hi Bidder. I only just got your last e-mail. It went into my junkmail folder. I'm glad the painting reminds you of home. Does this mean you are going to buy the painting or not?
6 days later...
Hi again bidder, not sure if you are getting my e-mails or not, but I just want to know if you are still interested in buying the painting?

 

by stunning
7-24-05
10 days later...
Hi again Bidder. Could you possibly reply to this e-mail and indicate your intentions in regards to this painting please. Its been 10 days now. Thanks
14 days later...
Hi Bidder. I guess from your non-replies you have either not been getting my e-mails or you are choosing instead to ignore your obligations in relation to this auction.
18 days later...and i gave up, requested my success fee back from auction site and relisted the item.
Sorry Bidder if you have not been getting my e-mails, but I will now have to relist this item.
feedback: THIS TRADER HAS USED ABUSIVE LANGUAGE THE WOLE TIME AND IS A COMPLETE BULLY SO I DID NOT COMPLETE THE SALE BECAUSE I DONT TRUST HIM. AAARGH HE HAS MY EMAIL ADDRESS!!! CALL THE POLICE!

 

by stunning
9-10-08
damn. If only I could read...

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