All comics by theandyman

 

The devil and Micheal. by theandyman 7-16-02
The devil and Micheal are deep in thought. I wonder if he loves me. I mean I know he tells me that he loves me. But how can I know for sure. Damn, that devils sister is hot as fuck. I wish i could stick my man meat in that shit. But how can i figure out a way to get around her more often without the devil getting mad at me? I need to fart.	Little boy helps cowboy train for his big priesthood test. Damn girl. I wonder what kinda michief Micheals gonna get himself into now. I mean, he's always doing this stuff. Gee. I hope he doesn't get his heart broken. That devil is no good! Man I wanna suck your cock.	Micheal lets one go trying ever so hard for the devil not to hear it. Oh no! I'm gonna be all red now. Oh no. I forgot that the devil was flamible. Now my hairs all burnt again. And where the hell are my glasses. Damnit if I find that devils sister tonight her ass is gonna get raped.

 

Poopy on the river. by theandyman 7-17-02
At the coffee house. Love. It's like a butterfly. Soaring so high in the sky. It makes me cry everytime. *clicks fingers* Love, it's all so beautiful. Like a puppy, nude with a knife in his ass. OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! OH MY GOD YOU'RE THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE. OH I HATE DOGS. I WISH I COULD STICK KNIVES IN ALL THERE ASSES. OH BABY YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANT TO ME.	In the neighbors yard. Oh. Please God help me get this one out. I'll do anything I swear. Just help me get this kidney stone out. Oh my god. What's that awful smell. Damn if only I wern't blind. I'll just have to have a feel around.	Running from a crazy pooper. BITCH CAN'T YOU SEE IM TAKING A SHIT! DON'T EVER TOUCH MY ASS! He he he. It worked again. I'll never go another day without feeling someones ass again!

 

Mother Pimp. by theandyman 12-21-02
Mack another animal why don't you? Now do you really think I can do good? Or are you just saying that so that you can sleep with me? Baby. Let me tell you a story. A long time ago while I was serving in Veitnam met this fine looking kangaroo. It had the same problems you did. Until one day...	During the Veitnam. Now I know she ain't pointing that shit at me. This bitch is buggin out. I gots to split. Nah uh nigga! You ain't goin nowhere mothafucka. What you think you can just walk up in here, give me three kids and run? Nah nigga nah.	Back to mackin. And the moral of this story is? Hair today. Goon tommorrow.

 

Farmers Gone Wild by theandyman 12-21-02
Boy gets stranded on farm. Homo-erotic conversation follows. So you'd give me a kiss. Then what would you do? Well. Um... Then I guess I would lick the front of your shorts. Ya. Once I smell your musky smell I'd get so hot that I would try to bit the head of your penis threw them. I would rub my hand und	Conversation erupts into full fledged boy lust. O.k. That's enough. You've felt my young hot penis. And now you've taken down my shorts. My bulge is just waiting there for you. You get it nice and wet with your tounge. Now I'm hard. What next? Well I guess I would pull down you Jockeys and start licking your soft balls. I'd lick the head for a second so that I could taste your pre-cum. Then I would start licking up and down your stomach be	Nothings ever good enough for kids these days. O.K. Enough. So you've got done licking the soft hairs on my stomach and now you're sucking off my boy cock. All of a sudden, I start peeing. What now? EWW! That's sick!

 

The "Save the world" song! by theandyman 12-21-02
*Fast music plays in backround* Child pornography, isn't a big deal. But if I wanna save the world then I must keep it sealed. Sometimes when there is trouble, i'm like nigga front. And if he doesn't hear me, then I must show my cunt.	*Music continues* Damn disgusting little kids, when will they learn? Oh well too bad that's not my job this J i must go burn. Hippie hippie hippie! Those kids are not that sick. They just want to save the world now I must cut your dick!	*More music* Damnit that was my job. It's was stolen by that squirrel. Holy shit across the street I can see that girl! Nevermind that young girls cunt your business is with me. Now hurry up, pull down your pants so I can drink your pee.

 

Kickin the shit in hell. by theandyman 12-21-02
So i'm like, "Bitch I'm gonna cut your throat." And she's all "How about you don't" and she puts her hand in my face and says "whateva". Ya?	And I'm all "Hmm. Let me think about that one. Cut your head off, or 'get out yo face'. Hmm I wonder what I'm gonna chose." So you killed her right?	No. Her boyfriend showed up at the last minute. Oh. He's a hunk.

 

Abuse by theandyman 12-21-02
Look bitch. I come home from a long day of work, and all I expect is a little food on the table. You do nothing around here. I hate you more than I hate abortion! He wouldn't be saying that if he knew I was pregnet. :(	YES I WOULD! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T READ MY THOUGHTS ANYMORE!	YOU STUPID BITCH! THE NEIGHBORS CAN HEAR YOU! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I'LL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! Oh I hope he doesn't hit me too hard. Then I'll have to make up more excuses and I don't think "I fell down the steps" is gonna cut it anymore.

 

Rap ending part one! by theandyman 2-04-03
I'm gonna have to give you a citation for parking here without a permit. Oh you fat motherfucker! What did you forget to eat your donuts today you stupid cop? My mom's gonna kill me you fat pig!	I am the blue fairy of the police! You and your kind have caused them great pain! Therefore you will all bear witness to the consiquences! ???	Blue fairy busts out into rap. Now let me suck ya'nigga dick before I straight up bust yo ass, got you munchin on my tits cause this niggas got no class, i know it's wrong i wear a thong while i'm suckin yo ding dong. Baby it's all cool cause im hung like king kong, aint like those pencil dick fuckas or those suckas named wong. ill take you on a tour of the most lagidimate screwer, and have you beggin fo mo.

 

emisatan by theandyman 2-05-03
Meet Bill an 85 year old crazy child molester from Washington. He just found a little girl in his bed, and now he's getting ideas. Soon his conconsence comes into play. Now listen to me, while you're licking her tits, ripping her clothes, smelling her feet, trust me im right, now stick her with your meat, slap her a little, make her feel some heat. heh, alright satan, maybe he's right bill, but think about the baby before you get all ill.	o.k. thought about it. still wanna fuck her, grab her by the butt, bend her over and treat her as you would your own daughter, what you gonna take advice from someone who flood the earth? Jesus: what you say? Satan: What's wrong didn't think i'd remember? Jesus: I'm gonna kill you motherfucker!	Ah ah, temper temper. Mr. Christ, mr. nw nice, mr. the earth will pay commin straight out of heaven yall better make way. how in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to fuck this child? cause that would just be too wild, plus it's a sin, aw fuck it what am i saying make her bleed bill we'res your viagra at?

 

wHATEVER by theandyman 3-07-03
FUCKING BOOGERS AND FARTS! god damnit i'm not in the mood for this shit.	Hey you'll never believe what happened. I was just talking to 9 eyed dirty mouth. Oh my god it was so bad. I wonder if his parents spliting up had anything to do with it. I'll go talk to him.	You know 9 eyed dirty mouth. If you ever need to talk i'm here for you. YA RIGHT YOU FUCKING SHA! GO EAT SOME TITS!

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