All comics by thiscomicisfunny

 

Hey buddy
Hey did you get the prposal done yet?
No not yet I was up all night
Oh doing what.Were you doing nasty stuff
Hey don't get in my private life you stupid retarded wannabe gay homo and you do it with your dad
I hate you.You dick

 

Look I am sorry again for upsetting your son.
Yeah well when you call him a retarded gay homo who sleeps with his dad.I would feel offended.
Yeah well he was getting into my private life.
Yeah well i should fire you.
Oh my god this is gay.
Oh the god jokes.That jackass

 

Hey whats up
Shut the heaven up
Come on!Hey let's copy our butts like old times.
No I am not into that childish humor.
Fine I see how it is.I guess we have gone our separate ways.
Yes I guess we have.I miss copying my ass oh my god I just said the ass word in a my dads office.I need to go to confession

 

Hey what is up?
Do i hear something.Oh it must be the wind
Were in an office building
Oh i don't hear anything.I think it is just a stupid donkey choking on his own penis
Okay your Jesus.And you are seriously being this immature you should go to hell
God the wind must be strong today.Or either that donkey has one large private part

 

Where am I?
Well your in Hell silly.Where else would you be if a place was as hot as the sun.
Yeah why am I here again?
Because you were being a very large private part to that pink donkey you work with.
This is gotta be some kind of dream
No it's not a dream.So I'm going to Taco Bell you want the angel cake it's heavenly.Oh man i am just the worst arent I?

 

God you have a visitor
Thank you reaper bring him in
Hey Godilicious nice place you got here
Thanks now get on with it you pink furry private place.
God whats up your butt
Listen you pink bundle of fag you made my son go to hell.And quit it with the god jokes you jackass.

 

Hey where did Jesus go?
I am Jesus what are you talking about?
Okay don't bs me little asian girl
I am freakin Jesus.Speak of the devil
Seriously where is he
He went back to Heaven to apologize to that donkey.And right now i have to take a really big poop.It is peaking out of my bootyhole.

 

Hey Johnny so whats crackin mofo
Mofo?What the hell are you doing
Look I'm sorry that I was a total cockmouth
Okay I wouldn't say cockmouth your dad has made strict rules
I don't give a rats ass he can suck this $5 foot long
Jesus get the heaven in my office you dumb mofo.

 

Yeah what the hell are you doing?
Um i came here to get my special blanket
Yeah get the hell back to hell.Actually just take out that first hell and just get to hell
So you want me to take out the first hell and just go there and stop for a sundae
No you don't stop for a sundae you just go to hell.
So basically your mad at me and your telling me to go to hell.Like if I cut you off in traffic you tell that person to go to hell.

 

Look God I'm sorry I came home late
Shut up you lying cheating bitch!!!
I swear Goddie Woddie I didn't do anything
Don't Goddie Woddie me you stupid skank
I swear I didn't do anything.And your beard is fake i see you.You take your peepee hair and glue it to your face.
Hey shut up I am gonna stop

 

You lucky s.o.b you get to stay here?
Yeah me and God are working out some deals
Man so where is Jesus?
Well he was a bad apple he is down in hell working like a slave
Oh god Bill Cosby you are the man
Jello PuddinPop!!!!!Rap music which gives them the braindamage

 

Do you know why I am giving you this fine?
Because I called you a fat donut eating hitler jr. asswipe
Yes so you have to pay a $500 fine
Wait why so much?
Remember how it their was a storm on November 5th 2008.That was my wifes birthday and it was supposed to be outside.She cried for 6 hours straight
Well maybe she shouldn't cheat on you.

 

So I'm here just cause I raped my sister
Yeah that is kinda creepy.Now get back there
Jesus what are you doing here.
Oh my father!Brad what are you doing here?
I raped my sister
Yeah i called some pink donkey a large private part

 

Hey whats up God?
What is this Home Improvment.What are you doing?
Oh I just do this so the reader here will say hey why can't I see this guys face.
That is the most retarted thing I've ever heard.
Actually the reader right now is just saying it.Becasue he is probably still on the second panel due to his bad reading
Yeah I think you might be suffering from down syndrome.

 

Hey so that Bush is out of office. We have a new president.
Yep.Presdient Barack Obama. I think this economy will turn around after this.
Hell yeah it will I mean what did Bush do?
Maybe he smoked some Bush
Probably god damn he is so retarted
Did you call me

 

So God hired you as our chef?
Beh beh hud beh.
Yeah so how long have you been cooking?
Uhh beh beh hud beh beh
Okay so are you retarded
fiuck you

 

So you do have my money?
I'm not paying you.You cheated in the poker game last night.
Your full of crap.Just because I had a good hand.Then you folded at the last minute.
No I folded because i had to go to the bathroom.So that is why so you can go now Frosty the spermman
Yeah call me names.You still owe me my money so I am staying here until you payup.
Well then I guess you'll be here until hell freezes over.

 

36 years later
Hey hell freezed over.Do you have my money.
Your still here.
Yeah I told you I was waitng here until you payed up.
Wow I gotta lay of the cocaine
So pay up you cheap son of bitch
Nope not doin it you have to wait until we are in a executive office.Then I am drinking alone while calling my son a gay homo.

 

Why are we here?
Well were gonna take all the text book so schools can't learn.
Why would we do that?
Because it's funny
No actually it's very stupid.
Yea well whats gonna happen.Is God going to punish me or what.

 

So you work here now?
yes I'm the new intern.
Man now i can goof around.And do whatever I want.
No you are taking your work serious.This is not a goof off place.God
So you fired him cause he took your name in vein?
Well yeah.Why would you take the bosses name in vein.

 

So your the new therapist
Yes,I am.I used to be crazy,and it may look like i escaped from a mental institution.But I'm 100% normal.
Wow that is very cool.So who will be your first patient?
Well I don't know who here is the most crazy?
Well maybe satan
Is he the one over there flirting with Jesus?

 

So this is my new work area?
Yes and i am donkey and your name is Pete?
Man this is so much fun its gonna be fun working with you?
Yea what a joy.So do you have any special qualities
Well I can steal your girlfriend faster then you can say damn you pete.
I hate you already!

 

So if we continue to do this our company will increase by 2.5%.
Oh my god, you are amazing.I made the best decision hiring you.
It is a pleasure to work here sir.Especially working for a talented man who started his own buisness.And made it a huge success.
Thank you Pete you are a great worker.I really like you.
So does this mean I get a raise?
I don't like you that much Pete.

 

Come on
Sorry you can't go into work with out yor card.
Hey Satan looking good today.Oh man I forgot my card.
Oh go ahead little buddy.
Wait why was he allowed to go in
he said I looked good today.You gotta let him in if he says you look good.

 

So the Priest says "why don't you leve this holy community"!
hahaha.That is hilarious you always know how to tell good jokes Pete.Well better get bck to work.
What a great guy.
I hear you making religous jokes.Why don't i tell god about your little scheme?
Go ahead.But who is he going to believe.His best worker or some idiot donkey
You little mongrol.I will get you fired someday and I'm not an idiot.atleast i don't eat fish.

 

Hi may I help you sir?
Yes,I need to open a new bank account so i can pay more of my elves.
Okay well your papers all seem to be in order.But your id looks fake.
What are you talking about?I have had that id for 12 years and I just got it renewed.You little demon.
I hate that little penguin.
I know lest make a plot to kill him?

 

So how are we going to kill this little penguin?And why are we in the bathroom?
Cause its private.Well heres my plan we capture him and take him down to hell.
But I thought satan loved him?
He does.But not if we get Pete to say something mean to him.
You have a great mind.
Thanks now lets destroy that evil penguin.

 

So let me get this straight.You want me to come into the bathroom blind folded witht a garbage bag and rope.
Yep come in 20 min.
Okay whatever.Well what ever is going on I'm sure it will be fun.
yep it sure will.
hello I'm here with the garbage bag and rope.
Now Santa get him.

 

Hi I'm Karen applebottom.The story today a penguin named Pete was working here when he was mudered in the bathroom.
They found his body in a garbage bag with a rope tied to it.That is all for News 12 I am Karen applebottom.
Oh my god they know it's us
No they don't Santa she didn't say anything.now we must go hide somewhere.

 

Are you sure this is a good place to hide in heaven?
Of coarse besides god has got my back.
I can't believe I killed someone
Come on we had to.That penguin was making us look bad.
I guess.Bu wont we see pete up here
Oh crap o didn't think of that.

 

So how did you die?
Well i was abusing my wife olive and then she stabbed me with a kinife.
Wow how come your not in hell?
Duh!I was stabbed by my wife besides the reason I hit her is because of my nose.She makes fun of it.
You know that's weird i was stabbed too.But I don't know who did it.
Well dude look down to earth and you will find out.That's how I found out why my beers were getting stolen.It was my wife she's preganant.

 

Oh man we really got that stupid penguin.
Yea I know,But i feel kinda dirty because i'm supposed to be jolly and fun.Not a murderer and evil.
hey calm down.That little penguin desereved it.he was a jerk to you
Actually now that i think about it.All he did was say my credit card was expired
Oh crap.Well now your flaking out so what are you going to turn yourself into the cops.
Actually I am a cop.I'm detective P. and now your going to jail buster.

 

Dude look at this funny video i found on youtube.
Okay what is it?
Hey it's Fred.And I'm going swimming in this pool my mom found in the dump.it's really big I think I might drown.
Isn't that hilarious?
No that high pitched weirdo will never make it big on youtube.What's next a bunch of asian kids trying to think their gangster.

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