All comics by trigear

 

by trigear
5-04-07
Britney, what on earth are you up to now?
Practicing my moves for my new comeback video, "Oops, I Did It One More Time".
...
That explains the school-girl outfit and the white cotton panties... but why the heck are we in a church?

 

by trigear
5-04-07
Dude...
...I think I'm starting to feel it.
Word.

 

by trigear
5-04-07
Meanwhile, at the Overlook Hotel...
so...
...seen any good movies lately?

 

by trigear
5-04-07
Dinner at the Lecter's
Why, dear?
Honey! Have you seen my floss lying around anywhere?
Oh. Try the tool shed.
I've got a little bit of Bob stuck in my teeth.

 

Turning tricks on Mars ain't easy.
by trigear, 5-04-07

 

by trigear
5-04-07
quiet on the set.
CUT! CUT! Goddammit, Jake, what do you think you're doing? Your character is supposed to be scared here. Scared! Why are you laughing?
quiet on the set.
James! Cut it out!
I can't help it. James keeps making funny faces at me while the camera's rolling.
What did I do?

 

by trigear
5-04-07
Obi? Obi Wan?
Oh crap, it's Ackbar!
You said you'd call. You never did.
Christ is this awkward...

 

by trigear
5-05-07
...and if you'll notice, the carpet's new, too. You're going to love it here, Mr. James.
Is the house moving?
...yes.
Start praying.

 

by trigear
5-05-07
What are you staring at, kid?
A. To avoid becoming nuggets.
Lunch!
BUKAAAW!!!!11!

 

by trigear
5-05-07
deAr stiCk mAn. I lOVe yoU. MarY mE. SigNeD ReX.
i'm making puppy dog eyes.
hmmm...
is he gonna say yes?
StaBbY sTabBs!!!!!
oh why does got hate me?

 

by trigear
5-05-07
myhypnoticpowersare irresistableyouwilldo asicommand
iwilldoasyou command
youwillgotothe storeandbuyevery jessicasimpson albuminstockthen gotothenextstore anddothesame
iwillgotothestore and... uhhhh, dude, I'm going to have to pass on that one.
ihavefailedyoujoseph simpsoniwillnow performsepukku
what a strange little alien.

 

by trigear
5-05-07
Hi, I'm a Mac.
And I'm a PC.
no, I didn't it would be funny either.

 

by trigear
5-05-07
We'd like to apologize for that last comic strip.
It wasn't funny. At all.
Also, the doofus making it forgot to copy edit, and he accidentally left a word out of the last panel.
It still wouldn't have been funny, though.

 

by trigear
5-05-07
What's the good news today, oh son of God?
Lucifer, I'm having an existential crisis.
I'm constantly putting myself out there to help my fellow man, and all they can do is squabble. What's the point of it all?
I always thought it was all about torturing people and tricking them into giving up their souls, but hey, whatever floats your boat, man.
Hmmm, good point.

 

by trigear
5-05-07
Buzzatchoo! I choose you!
Bzzzz
Go annoying teeny bopper!
Like, no way!
!
Fight!
Screw this.

 

by trigear
5-05-07
Hey Maureen! Sometimes I like to take a girl and bend her over and then go UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH
UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH
whatever you do, don't be this guy.
I'LL CALL YOU, OK?

 

by trigear
5-06-07
And I was trying to talk to him and he wasn't saying much, but I kept going anyway because I like to talk and everything. So anyway, it was on a Sunday, so the restaurant was busy, and...
...So then he said 'dude, I'm trying to eat here,' and I was really embarrassed. You know, because he totally shut me up and made me feel silly. I don't--
Dude, I'm trying to piss here.
fuck.
some people...

 

by trigear
5-06-07
H..hello? Kirk? Picard? Archer? Oh man, I hate it when this happens. I'm going to die here! I just know it!
SKREE!
HOMIGOD WHAT WAS THAT?!
Hey buddy, need some directions?
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

 

by trigear
5-06-07
Oh crap, I just zapped an alien, and I think he was trying to help me! Calm down, Roger, you've got to calm down!
Pardon me, sir...
GYAAAAAAAAHH!!!
Umm... I've really got to stop doing that.

 

by trigear
5-06-07
WAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Hey! You with the red shirt! Stop shooting people!
Hey man, watch it!
Buddy, what's your deal? You just killed my two best friends, and all they were trying to do was give you directions.

 

by trigear
5-06-07
meanwhile...
Smock, where the frell is Lt. Rogers?
Well, sir, the combobulator tracker indicates he's latitudinally positioned somewhere on the opposite side of the hemisphere
huh?

 

by trigear
5-06-07
Captain Krok is confused...
Uhhh, Smock, do you think you could break that last bit down into bite-sized words my brain can understand?
He's... on the... other side... of the... planet sir.
Gotcha!
Good thing I majored in Shatnerian translation.

 

by trigear
5-06-07
Tell me, Mr. Smock, how did Lt. Rogers end up on the other side of the planet? This has never happened before.
Well, sir, it seems highly probable that a malfunction in the combombulator caused him to be translocated to a different set of coordinates on...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Smock! What did I say before? English man! English!
...some jokes never get old.
Ohhhh. Oops!
Snickers bar... in the... combobulator...

 

by trigear
5-06-07
Sir, tell me again why you were eating a Snickers bar in the combobulator room?
I was feeling peckish. I had a craving for nougat.
Sir, there's a sign at the entranceway to the combobulator room that explicitly states 'no food or drinks.' What were you thinking?
So Rogers got recombobulated on the other side of the planet. If that's the only side-effect, what's the big deal?
Meanwhile, at the ship...
Why hello there! You don't look familiar... who are you?
Doc, it's me! It's Sgt. Williams, the combobulator operator! I'm not feeling myself.

 

by trigear
5-06-07
establishing shot of spaceship
A Snickers bar, you say?
Yeah, doc. When I came to, I looked like this. I panicked at first, but then I thought it might be wise to come see you.
Hmmm... well, Williamson, I'm not sure what to do about that. How about an enema?
dramatic pullback
ULP!

 

by trigear
5-06-07
Meanwhile, in Sector Alpha Lambda
OK, so all we need to do is have the combobulator teleprompt Rogers over here. Problem solved!
Sir, I've been trying to contact Sgt. Williamson for the past twenty minutes. No response.
Let me try. *This is Cap Kork T. Krok calling for Sgt. Bill Williamson. Williamson, come in!*
It doesn't seem to be working. I don't understand!
Hmmm, what a shock, sir.

 

by trigear
5-06-07
Well, Williamson, how do you feel now?
Well, gee, I don't know, doc, let's shove something long and hard up your colon and see how it makes you feel!
I, uhh, left something burning. Be right back.
I can wait.

 

by trigear
5-08-07
later
So let me get this straight... you're not out to kill me?
No. We're all pretty peaceful over here.
I'm just a little bit nervous. The life expectancy for people of my rank is very low.
S'alright. Just stop being so trigger happy.
Oh, sorry... So you're telling me that eight-headed, snaggle-toothed, bear-looking thing over there isn't dangerous?
Oh that thing? Yeah, he's pretty dangerous. We should probably run now.

 

by trigear
5-08-07
dialog: can't live with it........................
Smock, what should we do now?
I'm not entirely certain, sir. It's a two-week sojourn to the other side of the hemisphere.
.............................................................
We might requisition some dromedaries and attempting the transit directly on our own, and risk getting hopelessly lost.
.................... can't understand it either.
uhh...
Or we could join a caravan and have them take us there along a more circuitous route, but with the added assurance that we wouldn't get lost.

 

by trigear
5-09-07
So uhhh... I think we should get some of those drama-dairies and try to go it on our own.
Excellent choice, as always, sir. We'll be lost in no time.
So... what does a trauma-dingle look like?
Mother was right. In the Star Navy, you fail upwards.

 

by trigear
5-09-07
EXCUSE ME DRAMA-DOODAD! WE NEED YOU TO HELP US FIND OUR FRIEND! WE COME IN PEACE! TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!
SPRACHEN SIE DEUTSCH?
KLAATU BARATA NIKTO?
even the bugs think Kork's an idiot.
Hey Smock! This one's not responding!
moron.

 

by trigear
5-24-07
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SPROCKET WITH A GEAR SHAFT?
please excuse the technical difficulties

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