All comics by twistedego

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by twistedego
7-31-03
Must kill Shattered Dreams.
Nigga I'll cut your ass up.
Nigga plz.
Umm you should set yourself on fire.
ahhhhhh! Fire I burn!
Told you i would fuck you up nigga.

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
after mark decided to kill that poor gary he goes to prison where he drops the soap
this is the only bed in here Smokey?
yes, now i have to go beat necromancer
didnt you already beat him
yes
Fucking Fuck why dont you just die you fucking faggot like Bill Hooper! all your doing is throwing stones you bitch
Is bill that one guy i fucked in the ass recently?

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
Yay finally our main Character comes into play
Sup LB whatcha doin
Well i figured that i could totally destroy that one band Shattered Dreams by putting in there everyone sucks.
Oh, is it working?
Well already one of the band members is threating to kill himself even Mark
Well, im gonna try to get laid even though it wont work even though all the sluts in chrleroi arent even a good lay kuz they are retarded
Okay buddy, you tap that ass for me.

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
After a lovely conversation with his good friend LB, Alucard wonders around the town of charleroi and finds an attractive young woman.
Wow your attractive and pretty.
you think so?
Oh Hell yea!
I think your cute too, my name is ana.
Well my name is Alucard I am the baddest mofo in town.
Then why do you have such a pussy name Alucard?

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
Meanwhile in prison LB visits mark...
LB i have no reason to live my life sux so bad
I told you not to make that Emo band mark.
IT'S Not Emo YOU FAGGOT!!!
Mark calm down, better yet shut up.
Im sorry LB I have to kill you
Shut up mark and lets get out of prison so you can be reunited with your Emo band

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
After LB sprung mark out of prison they met up with Alucard...
Sup guys, Hey mark you look differently.
Yea, I just sprang this nigga out of jail.
It was horrible i couldnt control the SOAP.
He's like this for awhile huh?
Unfornately the nigga just went crazy and i was like well sometimes nigga gotta go crazy
CANDY BARS!

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
Well guys im gonna go meet up with Ana kuz you know shes my girlfriend and thats just the way it is.
Tap that shit for me nigga!
why do i have to do it for him why cant i do it for myself?
Where is that asshole boyfriend he said he would be here at 4 and its turning 4:01 he is so fucking dead
And so jon finally made it to Ana's house
Hi Sweetie its me Alucard your one true love that you could never hate no matter what.
Aww your still an asshole for waiting this long

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
Well guys im gonna go meet up with Ana kuz you know shes my girlfriend and thats just the way it is.
Tap that shit for me nigga!
why do i have to do it for him why cant i do it for myself?
Where is that asshole boyfriend he said he would be here at 4 and its turning 4:01 he is so fucking dead
And so Alucard finally made it to Ana's house
Hi Sweetie its me Alucard your one true love that you could never hate no matter what.
Aww your still an asshole for waiting this long

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
so what do you want to do since your parents are obviously not home ever.
wanna have sex?
REALLY?????
no
HAHA that was great i almost fell for that one *sighs*
just say your under my control and youll do anything for me

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
fair enough as long as you play asian ppl with me for like a whole strip!
.... fine
Me Chinese me have fun
Me put dildo in your Bum
I hope you know were never playing that again
come on i was so hot mimicing that chinese bitch

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
That was fun huh kids well were going to Ozzfest...
Sup everyone were at Ozzfest just chillin and shit let me introduce everyone thats Rachel, Adam, Meghan, Dewey, and Gary say hi everyone
um hi im rachel
yea whatever im Adam
yea im Meghan my hair should be black
Im dewey
Im gary, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HAVE MY ICE CREAM DAMNIT

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
Meanwhile back in Da'roi
Mark im bored hit yourself with something
OK
Holy Shit you did it
yea well it dont hurt anymore now excuse me while i kill this whinning bitch named Jesse
HEY MARK I GOTTA BETTER IDEA WHY DONT YOU KILL THAT PUSSY BITCH NAMED JESSE
GREAT IDEA LB

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
Back at Ozzfest...
hmm ozzfest really isnt that fun right now its really boring for some odd reason and moshing made my legs tired.
excuse me sir im from trojan condums and im giving these away here you go
now explain to me how to use these
you put it on your dick and you fuck a girl
how about you show me how its done
how about you shove that condum i just gave you in your ass

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
After Ozzfest Our hero Alucard is found at home...
its really funny how my room is like everyone else's isnt my best imaginary friend named jon
i hate your room you should set it on fire
i know it sucks and all but its the only room i have
i hate it when your right
well im going to bed nite jon
yea whatever kid im gonna fuck some drunk chicks in the bar kuz they cant see me

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
That morning oursexy yet cunning hero decides to take a walk into Da'roi and ends up in a local place
Man Da'roi sucks i wonder what ana is doing right now
Alucard I am god
wow god your just like i imagioned you a flamer
Quiet you insultant fool i have the power to destroy your life
what do you want from me
ana you must take care of her she will be the fifth element

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
whoa ana is an element
Oh im sorry wrong person but you should take care of her kuz you love her
hey can i have a wish
No
WHAT WILL ALUCARDS WISH BE. WILL I EVER HAVE TO WEAR PANTS. WHY DOES A PANDA ONLY HAVE BLACK AND WHITE WHY NOT GREEN? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON Alucard Random Boy Wonderous
Come on you know you wanna grant me a wish
um ok

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
I wish i was god and you werent
um no you cant do that
yes i can you said i could have a wish and thats what i want
no only im allowed to be god
After 10 hours of fighting with the flaming god
FINE i want a Genie that will give me and only me wishes when i want
FINE your wish comes true

 

by twistedego
7-31-03
well where the fuck is my genie
oh yea i was supposed to give you one thats right
yea so give it to me
youll get it in the next strip and youll be surprised so bye
and when alucard thought there was no god he only found out that god truly hated him
OMG i have a fucking chink genie good fucking god i hate you why oh why did you give me chink genie like what the fuck is your problem
im yoyoyoyoyoshi

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
After meeting God, Alucard decides to walk around with his chink genie...
Where are we going master?
I thought I told you to shut up until we got there.
Who are those people master?
They are friends now shut up.
What the fuck are we doing in a graveyard lb?
To meet alucard remember.

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
Master what are your wishes?
I wish you would listen to me for once in your god damned life. Now here they are dont act like an idiot or ill be forced to wish to hurt you. Sup guys!
LB why do I always have to go first?
Bekuz mark your the bitch remember. Look theres Cart, lets go.
HAHA you thought you forgot about me that one Episode but im back and im waiting for bill so I brought Necromancer.
What the fuck am i doing here?

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
.... master said to keep quiet
Sup niggas whats up?
why are we meeting here?
Yea nigga, it better be important and who is that asian bitch that i could have already tapped.
Shit, for one of my wishes i wish only i could see you
you wish is my command

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
MeanWhile...
HAHA were the most eviliest mother fuckers around we sent a letter to bill from Lorina ssaying to come down into the graveyard so she would fuck him HAHA!
Now why are we going to beat up bill?
Because hes a faggot and he kissed some other faggot which makes him a faggot and your gonna fuck him later you faggot.
I am not a faggot im sexually deprived and my options were limited and besides i was drunk and wasted.
thats what he said faggot, shut up here he comes that fag.
oh poo Lorina were are you, god i wish i didnt have sucha faggoty voice god its so hard to change it

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
HAHAHA fire burns that faggot nigger HAHA
ooo poo im on fire which goes along with my flaming voice and such
finish him off necromancer
i hate you
later on we found out that bill does love to kiss other men
oooo baby you like a nice stiffy like boner in you dont ya
omg its in my ass... wait it aint half bad OMG YES ITS BETTER THAN SEX WITH A WOMAN

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
Before that little interruption...
what chink?
Holy shit dude she just vanished into think air.
maybe your ego made her go away?
shut up mark anyway yea so um i can have anything i want so ha
yea shut up mark, anyway noway nigger you cant have anything you want.
why must everyone hate me including me

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
come on LB lets go back to my place mark you can come over later its tuesday its time for your band to practice or something
yea later mark ill give you a call sometime tonite.
As they leave mark he finds a woodland creature
Fine ill see you guys later oh what hoe a bird like thing.. ill call you jimbaouthimationatious
WARK WARK WARK WARK WARK
Due to graphic nature we cant show you mark getting his ass kicked by a giant bird named jimbaouthimationatious
OH DEAR GOD HELP ME WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PECK AT MY DICK WHY NOT OUCH YOU NIGGER ILL KILL YOU OUCH OUCH NOT MY ASS YOU FAGGOT OUCH YOU FUCKING NIGGER
WARK WARK WARK WARK WARK

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
While walking to Alucard house...
look brad its Alucard and LB
um hi
Hi Brad hi Katie
Hi Katie Hi Brad haha im different that you Alucard which makes me better
Why havent you saved me yet
WARK WAARRKK

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
well we will see you guys later were busy
yea go help mark out or something
should we help help mark?
probably but im not really gonna try now
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
After Mark has been totally destroyed and magically recovers we find him with his band...
Dear mark this is Alucard and LB your probably wondering why you got a letter from us and most importantly how did we send a letter to you this quickly just dont question it we gods now kill your band
hey mark is that a death threat letter from Alucard and LB WOOO our first death threat im so happy
hmm that doesnt really sound promising
Were gonna die why its all because of mitch i knew after i got that parking meter shoved up my ass this it what would happen
for more interresting facts contact me by any means necessary kill people if you have to
hello im a random arm
hi im the other one and were here to tell you about the other adventure in another persons comic ShatteredDreamsMark its a lovely comic strip you should go there too

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
LB and Ross decided to ambush Shattered Dreams...
Mark me and Ross and here to kick you and your bands asses.
Hey Mark i hate you and your band so we are here to beat you all up at your very own show
Oh God i wanna kill myself first
Why does everything happen to me it ALWAYS happens to me WHY ME?!?
either way you look at it were pretty much fucked.
Im supposed to be with gary in Hawaii Why am i here to get my ass beat?

 

by twistedego
8-01-03
Due to the Incredible amount of voilence we can only let you hear what they say and are not allowed to show what Lb and Ross are about to do enjoy the show...
*Mark* Oh My Fucking God This is worse than that damned Bird
*Mike* Oh My God My arm doesnt bend that way Why are you doing this its not fair plz stop Ow ow ow ow You sons of bitches
*Ross* Shut up you mother fuckers and take your beating like little pussies
*LB* ya you mother Fucking pussies im beating you faggots up with a baseball bat that i hit in my backpocket.
And so Shattered Dreams was beaten up by Ross and LB and at the end LB smiled at the band saying you know you gotta love me
*Patrick* I dont deserve this why is it always me first its the fucking parking meter then the Death OUCH MY PANCREAS threat now its the senseless Oh my GOD YOU RIPPED OFF MY FINGERS beatings
*Cody* im crying leave me alone arent you happy enought that im crying ouch that fucking hurt what did you hit me with a fucking bat??

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Meanwhile back at Ana's
So ana whatcha ya wanna do?
um we could make out while my mom isnt home.
what if it goes alot further and we both like it?
then we like it
So Alucard taps it for himself not LB
ok now you get naked or ill rip off your clothes.
fair enough

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
After about 12 hours they both get dressed and leave. you thought we were gonna show you that scene didnt you?
Sup nigga whatcha do at ana's?
um....nothing.
I dont believe you.
I wish LB wasnt suspicous and believed me.
And so LB believe ALucard's lie
Okay buddy I believe you
Haha it worked.

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Later that day at the VFW show...
wow the robot hum lost its drummer.
yea they still rock though, cart i think you should beat up that drummer but isnt he your g/fs brother?
That Son of a Bitch God lover talking about how god told him to go the other way
He should burn in hell bekuz god told me he should stay and not be a faggot
Look guys im Jesus tell that bitch to come here ill give him an appiffany he'll never forget
I told you he was a God lover

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Alucard wishes for another wish...
genie i wish i could back in time about the time of ozzfest
WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA
Holy Shit it is Jesse... im back in time!
Alucard you just made it in time for Cradle!!!

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
And all Alucard thought was..
I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE I mean i like cradle it is just that i remember what happened it was terrible...
lets go jon
Genie i wish i was back in my original time after ozzfest but hes the catch i also wish brad and katie never went out with each other.
wish granted
AHHHHH IM FALLING THREW TIME AHHH

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
back in original time
wow its just how i rememberd da'ro... it fucking stinks... oh hey brad whats up
I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU SINCE I HAVE NO ONE TO MAKE OUT WITH..ALUCARD
Thats never good...
OOO YOULL FUCKING DIE YOU FUCKING HOODED FREAK
Alucard got pissed kuz he talked about his hoodie
NIGGA PLZ DONT YOU EVER TALKS SHIT ABOUT MY HOODIE NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE IS ALLOWED
Oh shit

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
This is a old comic but it Directors Cut which means its old and has new scenes
HAHAHA bill got fucked in the ass by Necromancer HAHA that was great what a bunch of FAGS lol OH look its LB what up LB
sup dood what the fuck is going on is bill getting fucked in the ass? oh my fucking god he is getting his fucking ass beat right now.
Oh Lorina it's you finally i found you after getting ass rammed i changed my appearance so no one would know who i am
Hi bill now what did you want to see me about?
I thought you were gonna fuck me?
when did i say this?

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Kick his ass LB hes hitting on your woman if he tries anything ill beat the fuck outta him with this bat i randomly found
Thanx Smoke i wont need your help but you can beat the fuck outta him when im done you know kuz im just that kind of bad ass i dont need anyones help really come on its bill
Hey fagoot named bill hooper who made out with zac cooper who is now offically zacs bitch who wouldnt stand a chance in a fight with me because hes a homosexual punk ass wussy cocksucking bitch ass
Who me?
Yea you,you fucking retarded monkey on crack god your such an inbusile god i really hate you bill and im really glad i get to kill you and then smokey totally burning your remains
why?

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Because i hate you, your a fucking idiot with no brain who has no dick or balls which totally makes a disadvantage of me kicking you in the junk but i dont really need to kick you in the balls just...
....
kick your faggoty ass all around this block and back why dont you ask your anal fucking friend the Necromancer i bet he loved fucking you in the ass or better yet you loved it more than he did
Shut up
Wow i ddint know how much of a hunk LB was until hes like totally punking down Bill why would i have ever gone out with him when i could have such a real man like LB

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Thats it faggot play time is over kuz your gonna be wishing that you never met me or even tried to take me girl
....
Due to the intense graphic nature of LB killing and totally fucking up bill we are sorry to inform that yo wont see it sorry it was pretty great too
come on nigger you think your fucking hard ill give you a fucking death drop you pussy ass mother fucker ill show you how to fight you fucking idiot with a fucking spike threw his nose whos like a fag
stop please
After the brutallity of LB fight we now go to Smokey
HAHAHA burn the mother fucking FAGS HAHAHAHA fucking FAG BILL HOOPER this will teach you to throw stones you pussy ass faggot

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Meanwhile
Sup gurl you know you want the super LB dick kuz you know im hard baby and you know you just want me kuz im just that good
god hes sucha fucking bad ass i love his egotistical ways hes such a fucking hottie
So why dont you and me go back to my place for some movies and shit
sounds great to me as long as we get as far away from bill as possible
Come on baby you know he aint gonna bother you no more i got smokey to take care of him
finally some real ass

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
After 27 hours and 15 condums LB and Lorina finally decided to take a break and get their clothes back on
So how was I?
The best i have ever had
yea i knew i was gonna be as good as you wanted
i dunno about you but you were fucking great i never came so hard in my life

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
After 27 hours and 15 condums LB and Lorina finally decided to take a break and get their clothes back on
So how was I?
The best i have ever had
yea i knew i was gonna be as good as you wanted
i dunno about you but you were fucking great i never came so hard in my life

 

by twistedego
8-02-03
Due to random reasons i apologize for the last comic about how one was saved as lb being black which he might have a black penis i dont know but the fact remains he is white and apologize for any and
all offenses Thank You Written by Alucard Enterprises

 

by twistedego
8-03-03
Now back to the Real Story...
Genie i wish i was Jack Skellington
hmm ok done
POOF!
hey neat but i wish i was back to the old Alucard again

 

by twistedego
8-03-03
And so our hero walks around da'roi only to find an idiot...
um is that you fag... um i mean bill
Hey Alucard guess what the most hardcore bestest movie is?
what is the best movie ever bill?
Killer Klowns from Outer Space Man
....in the words of myself god bill i hate you plz kill yourself...in the words of Smokey bill i hate you kill yourself and that movie is only loved by ppl who love zac coopers dick
um why are you picking on me?

 

by twistedego
8-04-03
Hey mark you're a big fucking pussy and i fucked every bitch you ever laid eyes on man
look you little fag im tired of this shit
Go and cry you little fucking pussy
Thats it im leaving kuz your so fucking immature
LB marcus is continually picking on me and im just sick of it tell him to stop
Mark its 1:30 in the fucking morning and your crying about how marcus punked you down you are a bitch

 

by twistedego
8-07-03
hello all i know its been awhile since i made one but alot of shit has happened some for the best some just another burden on my heavy shoulders but anyway this strip is dedicated to Atreyu
yea kuz Atreyu's Hard
I WOULD CARRY YOU WITH A BROKEN BACK AND BLOWN OUT KNEES
LIVE LOVE BURN DIE
Just a lil less human and alot more bitter and cold
arent you tired of being weak such rage that you could scream all the stars out of the sky, and destroy the prettiest star lit night every evening that i die

 

by twistedego
8-15-03
im drunk
hi im a drunk squirrel
ooooooo kol
no u r
hi im a drunk squirrel
im satan
ooooook
hi im a drunk squirrel
me 2 o wait no im just drunk

 

by twistedego
8-15-03
hi jon
boo
koo
bye jon
wow marmar dont luv me ahhhhhh
2 bad
she still luvs u jon
im not drunk im tipcy
wow im paper clip

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