Santa Quits Smoking (again) by tylermasse11-29-01 Santa's withdrawl - Day Three: What happened to your nose? Just think what the VP of Marketing will say! Oh no, Santa is still in withdrawl Rudy goes to get his prosthesis while Santa mentally mocks him. Stupid fucking reindeer...OOH! Look at me, I can fly, meh meh meh.... Santa starts foaming at the mouth. Shit, I need a smoke. GIVE ME A CIGARETTE, DAMN YOU! I know you're holding out on me! Here we go again...Why did we even HAVE that intervention?
Tyler Supervises a Typical Tech Support Agent by tylermasse11-29-01 HR Issue #312 Hey Junior, you can't drink beer at work. Oh? It's light beer...does that count? I am totally serious. You need to throw that beer out. When did you turn into such a Company Man? Does your newfound adherence to policy and procedure also mean that I can't fire up this joint on my break? No, you STUPID FUCKHOLE! DUMP THAT PISS AND GO TAKE A CALL!!! Corporate whore! NAZI!!
Woodland Small Talk by tylermasse11-29-01 Anyone shot at you today? Yeah, but they were so loaded that I wasn't too worried about it. Drunks can't aim. I had a close call with an SUV, earlier. God, now THOSE things scare me. People are too busy talking on their cell phones to watch the road. I know! It's not like the deer crossing signs are hard to read. So, you're saying that drunk, illiterate, SUV-driving rednecks with cell phones and rifles are dangerous? Surely you jest...
Buffy The Cultural Icon by tylermasse11-29-01 Fanboy poses a question Have you seen the new episode of Buffy? I have never seen an episode of Buffy in my life. Fan boy starts to foam at the mouth No, I'm serious. The new episode was a musical! I hate musicals. Fanboy totally loses his shit HERETIC---NON-BELIEVER---I SHUN YOU!!! God, these Buffy fans are rabid...
Servo??? by tylermasse6-05-02 OFF-TOPIC Oh, shit! It's Waterworld 2!!! AHHH!! REALLY OFF-TOPIC Is this that 9/11 made-for-tv thing? REALLY REALLY OFF-TOPIC NOT AOTC AGAIN!!
Cancer by tylermasse6-05-02 Temptation... You *know* you want to smoke me... No, I don't. I am quitting. I won't kill you, I swear... Sure, I believe you. And he caves... Smell my stinky ass.... Oh, you had me at "hello"...