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| Please, sir, could you point me to the nearest Police Station. My horse was raped and then shot. | |
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| I used to have a horse--fastest horse in three counties. I decided to enter him in the stakes at the Tri-County Derby... | |
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| I knew it was foolish, but I took my life savings and wagered all of it on my horse. Little did I know that my jockey and trainer had taken turns with my stallion... | |
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| So I had to shoot my horse, and I lost all my money. Now I make my living by standing beside accident scenes, complaining about my life, and hoping strangers will pay me to shut up. Got a nickel? | |
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