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| So, ABC wants us to do some skits, tell some jokes, and sing some songs. | |
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| People want to see my tits! | |
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| That can't be the only reason they gave us a show, honey. | |
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| I wonder if they've noticed that I had breast-reduction surgery? | |
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The Nick And Jessica Variety Hour will not be aired...ever. We now subject you to "Extreme Holiday Makeover."
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| ...so we all pitched in and bought you that jizz turret implant. | |
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| There will be a Christmas after all! | |
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