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| Solar-Bot, begin shortwave radio mode. | |
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| ALERT! Scientists shocked the world today by announcing a cure for cancer! | |
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| However, a different group of scientists pissed on the parade by announcing that the Earth would be destroyed in 30 days by a comet. | |
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| Speaking of attention whores, Michael Jackson later announced that he would leave Bahrain and go live on the moon. | |
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